I Moved

Check out my new blog at:

adammoore.wordpress.com

Please change your links accordingly. Thanks.

Style before substance

Ok folks. We’re gonna have to compromise.

It is my blog after all.

You want links on my blog. You’ve got em.

You want more than one post on each page. You’ve got it (but only three - and don’t ask for more!).

But one big change is not open for discussion - I’m moving.

I’ve been thinking about a change of venue for quite awhile. I resisted because Blogger has been good to me for two years. However, a couple things at Blogger just drove me nuts. Also, and most importantly, I think Wordpress just looks cleaner and sharper.

So, go check out my new blog. A new address but the rest should stay pretty much the same (less content than I would like, a little controversy every now and then, and boring stuff in between. You gotta love it).

Please change your links (surely you can do at least one thing for me).

Be sure to notice, the link is adammoore.wordpress.com (not ifgodislove.wordpress.com).

Don’t tell anyone, but because I am an idiot, I accidently deleted forever ifgodislove.wordpress.com. That mistake is still hurting. Oh well, adammoore.wordpress.com will have to do. The blog’s still called “If God is Love” though - I like that a lot. And I’m quite attached to the banner photo.

So go check out the new site.

Coming Soon (hopefully...maybe)

Ok, I hate having an inactive and lame blog. Not many posts. Not much serious content. Oh well, part of being a new parent I guess. Hopefully I'll get a chance to blog more soon. Here are a few things I am wanting to blog about:

1. I watched a great movie the other night. A documentary called Born Into Brothels. Really great. Bump it to the top of your queue. Hopefully I will be blogging about my reaction to the movie soon...

2. I read a good book last week called Leaving Church (mostly while bouncing Ivy in the bouncy seat - trying to get her to go to sleep...). It's written by Barbara Brown Taylor and is about her faith journey - from becoming an Anglican priest to her eventual decision to walk away from church leadership, and to some degree church altogether. The book provoked some good thought and is definitely worthy of discussion.

3. A quote I came across today:

"For Christians, the problem is not how to reconcile homosexuality with scriptural passages that condemn it, but how to reconcile the rejection and punishment of homosexuals with the love of Christ." - William Sloane Coffin

I hope you all are well. More is coming soon...

(what do you think of the latest "rearrangement" of the blog?)

New Waterdeep

I am sitting in my living room listening to new music from Waterdeep.

It's kind of a big deal.

This is the first new Waterdeep (non live, non-worship music) since 1999. I remember the day I bought that cd - I was a sophomore in college.

Anyways, I am listening to Heart Attack Time Machine, which you can download here, and remembering the good ole days of going to Waterdeep concerts with Brooke and various other friends. I think I have seen them live about 15 times, with Kansas City being the longest trip (and the best of all).

Here's a song that's on the new album. It's a live recording from a Don Chaffer (the male half of Waterdeep) concert I went to a couple years ago in Austin. You should also check out two other songs from the album at Waterdeep's myspace page. You might also check out The Khrusty Brothers (I haven't had a chance yet).

"The City of Atlantis" - Don Chaffer (of Waterdeep)

A Song for you and me

In an obvious move to steal some traffic from GK's ever-so-popular MP3 of the week segment, I offer you this new song from one of my favorite bands, Over the Rhine. The song will be featured on their new cd Trumpet Child, which comes out in August. Their previous cd, Drunkard's Prayer, is one of my very favorites.

"Trouble" - Over the Rhine

Thank you for coming to us

Sometimes when I'm holding Ivy, often while she is sleeping and when there is no one else around, I talk to her. Just a few words here and there. I don't know why and I don't usually think much of it. But just now I was watching Ivy sleep and realized that in these quiet moments I often say to her, "Thank you for coming to us." For some reason this struck me just now. Certainly she had no choice. I don't imagine that she was in some pre-existent place and chose us out of other potential parents (wouldn't that be strange?). I know more appropriately I should be thanking God, and I think indirectly I really am, but for some reason I think I will continue to say these words: "Thank you for coming to us Ivy. We are so glad you are here. We have waited so long for you. We love you so very much."

Unity and diversity

I have been thinking a lot over the past months about the unity of the church. I’m not into drawing lines. I don’t like walls. I think the Church is ONE.

But at the same time, I have specific beliefs I think are important.

How does one balance unity and diversity?

How does one support and promote unity while also acknowledging and even endorsing certain distinctions? Is this possible?

One question that has been asked in the Church throughout the centuries is the question of essentials and non-essentials. What are the essentials for unity? What are the non-essential areas where we can embrace diversity? I struggle with this question because I really do want to err on the side of Church unity. I feel that if someone is willing to fellowship with me, then I am willing to fellowship with him or her.

This is easy to talk about but much more difficult in practice.

Talking about unity amongst diversity is simple. Resisting the pull towards divisions based on distinctions can be quite challenging.

How should this work?

Fear and Love

I thought this was great:

"Fear turns one inward, away from the 'other.' Fear imprisons. Fear resists hope and life. Fear prevents us from knowing and being known deeply. Fear resists interdependency and it closes us to loving and being loved. Fear inhibits creativity and stunts growth. Fear doesn’t see opportunities. Fear risks nothing.

"Love, on the other hand frees, love enlivens. Love holds the other as they are, and lets others hold us as we are. Love is vulnerable and open to others. Love says, 'yes' to God’s desire to love us, and in saying 'yes' we are able in turn to love God, others and ourselves.

"God is love. To 'image' God, we love."

(this was stolen in its entirety from Paul at Podigal Kiwi(s) Blog)

Frederick Buechner (an ordained Presbyterian minister) on church

"I say the best thing that could happen to your church is for it to burn down and for all your fax and e-mail machines to be burned up, and for the minister to be run over by a truck so that you have nothing left except each other and God. And then I say if you want to know what the original church was like, go to an AA meeting where all they have is each other and God, and they say to each other: 'We cannot live whole lives without each other and a higher power.'"

Another similar quote:

"One wonders what will become of the church. Certain branches of it are growing, but in so many parts of the world it's dying, and maybe that's just as well. Maybe it's had its day, and God will never die; God will always make himself known one way or the other -- maybe not in the church at all, but who knows how? I've often said in churches [that] the best thing that could happen is if the church burned down and all the computers were lost and all the bulletins were blown away by the wind, and the minister was run over by a truck, and you've got nothing left except each other and God. That would be the best thing that could happen to you, because that's where it all began, and that's what it's all about. All the rest is window dressing; it is trappings, it is words, words, words, words, words, words, words, which after time become just babble -- God babble."

Picture Share

I think this might be my favorite picture of Ivy so far.

Reflecting on the Monday after my blogiversary

I'm just joking.

Don't worry.

No more silly blogiversary posts.

After this one.

I'm done.

Really.

And this one doesn't really count.

So really I only had two.

But the second one was mainly a quote from another blog.

Maybe it doesn't count either.

But now I'm done.

I promise.

Until next year...

Reflecting on my blogiversary

So, I was thinking about blogging and stuff (you know, with today being my big two year blogiversary and all - had you heard?). Anyways, I was thinking about blogging and why I blog and what a blog is for and what I should blog about next and other things, and I came across this great comment by Real Live Preacher about blogging. I think it is appropriate to quote on today my day of days, my blogiversary.

"...this blog is a personal thing. Blogs are intended to be that. They are, we might say, a record of a person's life. An old way of thinking might lead you to say, 'What makes you think anyone wants to read your personal diary, you self-absorbed fool?' A new way of thinking suggests that we are all adding to the collective information network of the blogosphere. Whether or not anyone reads your work isn't the most important question. It's the larger idea that's important. We are reading each other's lives. We are learning about each other and beginning to know each other across previously insurmountable geographical and cultural barriers. I like being part of that." (full text here)

I do too. On to year three. Thanks for joining me.

In honor of two years of deep insight which has certainly changed all of your lives forever

Yes, today is my two year blogiversary.

In honor of this special day, I will be giving free t-shirts to the first ten people who comment on this post and tell me that I have the greatest blog in the universe (or is it blogiverse?).*


Good luck! And have fun!


*By free t-shirts I really mean this is a joke and you should go make your own t-shirt in honor of my two year blogiversary. But you should definitely make sure to have fun doing it! Actually, since this is my second blogiversary, and since that's a huge gigantic deal and all, I really will give a free t-shirt (I'm not lying) to the first person who can remember the content of my very first blog entry ever. Close doesn't count - you have to get it exactly right (no cheating allowed - you can't go back and look).

The prayers of a new father

"Lord, please help Ivy to fall asleep. Please don't let her wake up. Please allow Brooke to sleep for more than one hour at a time."

Alternative version: "OH GOD! Please let us all just get some sleep!"

Oh My God

Ivy Grace came to us on Mother’s Day at 3:27 am – 7 pounds and 20 inches. See Brooke’s blogs (Reflections and Waiting) for more. I’m sure she/we will share more details soon.

-----------------------

Oh my God
Sweet embrace
A baby girl

Oh my God
How can it be?
She is here!

Oh my God
This love I feel
She is so beautiful

Everything is new
Everything is right
Oh my God

Magic cookies? Whatever - more like unmagical cookies

I sure hope Rishi's magic spreadsheet works better than Amanda's magic cookies.

But Amanda's cookies definitely tasted better than Rishi's spreadsheet...

Oh well - it would have made a great story...

Believe me, today's the day

Everyone get ready, because today is the day. You've been captivated by Rishi's magic spreadsheet. Now I want to introduce you to Amanda's magic cookies.

Last night Amanda brought us some homemade cookies. According to Amanda, these are the same cookies she made and ate the night before she gave birth to Lily (well, not the same exact cookies, but you know what I mean). The day after making the cookies she had a doctor's appointment and went straight to the hospital from her appointment. Obviously this time around the magic was already working before Amanda made the cookies (you can't stop the magic) because Brooke already had a doctor's appointment scheduled for today! So clearly the baby is coming today. What other conclusion can we come to? Last night Brooke ate the magic cookies (all 10 of them - or was it 15?) and is now letting the magic work.

Ivy will share her birthday, May 9, with J.M. Barrie (of Peter Pan fame), Sophie Scholl (we happened to just watch a movie about her, which I recommend. Coincidence? I don't think so), Billy Joel, and hockey player Steve Yzerman.

I'll see you all on the other side! Go magic cookies, go!

Embracing Ignorance

As it turns out, we are actually going to have a baby.

It’s still quite difficult to believe.

We have wanted this for so long that only in the last couple weeks has the reality been sinking in that a baby is coming. It is our baby. And we will most likely need to take care of it (and the ‘it’ is actually a ‘her’ – yikes). Even as I write those words it is hard to believe. We are having a baby. Wow. I think we are a lot more mentally prepared for this than we were a couple weeks ago, but really, can anyone ever be mentally prepared for a baby? I doubt it. At least for most people. But as for me – I’m prepared. I’ve read Baby 411 and I’m guaranteed to have The Happiest Baby on the Block. So what is there to worry about?

Am I totally freaking out (as GK questioned in the previous comment section)? No way. Why would I freak out when I have Rishi’s magic spreadsheet? What else do I need? Believe me; we’ve got it all taken care of.


Ivy, feel free to come any time. I’m ready. I may not have ever changed a diaper. I may not have spent more than 15 minutes holding a new baby. But believe me, I’m ready. I’ve read the books. I’ve got the magic spreadsheet. I’ll leave the freaking out for other new parents.

Everything is under control. Bring it on.

Will this ever end? No. Ok, maybe.

Alright, after a sudden surge of votes, we are left with the following final tally:

Amy: 3 votes
Angela: 3 votes
Mary: 3 votes

Ok, maybe the sudden surge of votes was a little suspicious...before the surge it must be noted that Amy had 3 votes and was in a commanding lead. So, being the moderator of this here contest, and being able to do whatever I want, I will conclude this contest as follows:

The Grand Winner of All: Amy
First Place: Angela
The Gold Medal: Mary

Alright, maybe this was a giant cop-out by me - I don't care. I thought all three of the entries were incredible (honestly). I wish I could write as creatively and as well as any of you. In my opinion, you all wrote stories worthy of eternal glory.

By the way, I have a sneakin' suspicion that people were afraid to vote because they didn't want to choose between the three. Yet another reason to have three winners. Of course, it's entirely possible that people just think I'm completely ridiculous...and they might be right.

One last thing. Perhaps you are thinking, "how can this be a real contest if there are only winners?" That is a good question. Here's my answer. There are plenty of losers in this contest! Let me name them:

Adam - Last place
Amanduh - Complete lack of participation
Richi - Too afraid to vote
Jack's Son - Total loser
G-off - Infatuated with Brady Quinn
Brook - my wife, and always a winner

The End.

In an attempt to drive away any readers I might still have, how about another post about some random person's broken arm?

Alright, we have three exceptional entries for "The Great Contest About Some Random Person's Broken Arm, Which Took Place in April 2007 (the contest, not the broken arm)."

Entry Number 1 - Amy
- Blogging Bob

Entry Number 2 - Mary
- Harry and the Mysterious Accident

Entry Number 3 - Angela
- “A kitten’s claw and a country song”

Go and read these three great stories. I was really impressed with each one. How can we judge between them? I don't know. Who do you think should be the winner? Leave your comments.

(are you sick of looking at this picture yet?)

More guns, more safety

I'm still on a blogging break right now. I don't know when it will end...

As for the contest, I am busy going through the many entries. I was simply not prepared for the dozens of participants. It will take me awhile to read them all. But don't worry (I know you all were worrying), the contest will be addressed.

But the real reason for this post is an absurd article I just read in my local paper. I would link to it but linking gives power and I don't want to give power to this ridiculous article. The article is by "Texas Wildman" Ted Nugent (yes, that Ted Nugent), who happens to live in Waco (wonderful...).

Here's the gist of his argument: people should be able to carry guns anywhere they want to. Gun-free zones are only disasters waiting to happen. Look at Columbine, the Amish school in Pennsylvania, and the recent tragedy at Virginia Tech - all gun-free zones. Can't we connect the dots? If only everyone had been carrying guns in those situations - imagine how many lives would have been saved. Oh, and thank God for the concealed handgun law in Texas because "we can now stop evil." Lastly, the only possible conclusion is that "gun-controllers' own policy enabled the unchallenged methodical murder of thirty-two students in that gun-free zone" (at Virginia Tech).

I'm just surprised the New York Times didn't pick up on this article.

Taking A Break From Serious Matters (everbody loves a contest, right?)

I will listen to the demands of my readers. You want a contest, you've got a contest.

In the spirit of "The Great Contest of June 2006," I offer you "The Great Contest About Some Random Person's Broken Arm, Which Took Place in April 2007 (the contest, not the broken arm)."

If you don't know what I am talking about, check out the comments from the previous post.

Here are the rules:

1 - Read the previous post.

2 - Dream up a wonderful story related to the broken arm picture (any length).

3 - Post your wonderful story on your blog (if you don't have a blog, you should start one. Or you can post your story in the comments section of this post).

4 - Post a comment on this post letting us know you have entered the contest.

5 - Post the story and comment by the end of the day on Friday, April 20.

6 - This weekend I will post again about this and we will have an open vote concerning who will win.

7 - If your name is Amy or Mary, you are required to participate.

8 - Know that I can break the rules at any time.

9 - Realize that this is quite serious.

10 - Do not vote in the comments of this post. I will post this weekend to open up the voting.

The winner is guaranteed much glory and honor.

Good luck.

Taking a short break

In case you haven't noticed, I've been taking a little bit of a blogging break the past week or two. I think that's a good thing to do from time to time.

More posts will come - check back later this week or early next week.

(by the way, don't worry, I didn't break my arm)

Adam

The Day God Died

This is from Moot. Very intriguing.

As Sufjan Stevens changes my life...

I can't get enough Sufjan Stevens.

His music is amazing.

Beautiful.

Healing.

I was listening this morning on my drive to work and I wanted to close my eyes, pull over to the side of the road (I know, I should really reverse those), and just bask in the glory of it all.

Lost in the cloud, a voice. Have no fear! We draw near!
Lost in the cloud, a sign. Son of man! Turn your ear.
Lost in the cloud, a voice. Lamb of God! We draw near!
Lost in the cloud, a sign. Son of man! Son of God!

Sufjan Stevens - The Transfiguration (mp3)

Giving Up Christianity, Again

[Warning: I didn’t proofread this very much - it may be completely wacked-out. These are just some thoughts I am working through]

Ok, so in spite of my unusual voting categorizations, the near-unanimous response to my “Giving Up Christianity?” post was, “What are you talking about?”

Allow me to explain a little (or maybe make it even more confusing…you’ll have to decide on that for yourself)

I will start with what I was not saying.

I was not saying that I hate Jesus. In fact, I wasn’t even saying I dislike Jesus a little bit. And actually, if you go back and read the post again, you might just find that I was saying I love Jesus a lot and want to take following him very seriously.

I also was not saying I hate the church. Hopefully, if you have been reading this blog for any length of time, you will have noticed that I love the church with everything in me.

And lastly, I was not saying I am not a Christian - I am.

So what in the world was I saying?

Well, I’m still working it out. I honestly wasn’t trying to make any specific statement. I just found the concept of “giving up Christianity to follow Jesus” to be an interesting thought.

Why would one give up Christianity to follow Jesus? Is there any reason to do that? In the movie the priest had a clear reason (you may see it as good or bad but he certainly had a reason). What would be the reason to give up Christianity?

Here’s my thinking about a potential reasoning for giving up Christianity (I’m sure there are other possible reasons as well). Everything starts with the fact that I believe there is something to Christianity. I really believe Jesus was/is real. I love God. I believe God is working in the world and that he works through people like you and me. He works through us to bring good things to people – to reconnect us with himself and to reconnect us with those around us. This is what God is doing. It is a good thing. And I want to be part of it.

However, I have talked with many people – current Christians, people who have given up on Christianity, and others who have never seen Christianity to be worth anything – who are fed up with all the crap involved with Christianity. They may just be sick of their particular church, but they might also sincerely believe that Christianity is bringing about the demise of our planet (to some this is quite literal). But overall these people have in common that they just find Christianity to be completely, or increasingly, irrelevant to their lives. And as I talk with these people I realize more and more that I agree with them in many ways. Now don’t get me wrong, remember, I love God, I believe in Jesus (if you ever start to wonder about this refer to the previous paragraph). I just think something has gone very wrong in Christianity, it has been wrong for a very long time, it is getting more and more messed up, and I just don’t know if it can be fixed.

So, into this context comes the idea of “giving up Christianity to follow Jesus” (think about this apart from the movie – connecting this with the movie probably just made things confusing). What if some people (not all) felt called by God to give up Christianity to follow Jesus? What if these people decided that for God to live in them and use them in this world they simply must cease to identify with the religion of Christianity? These people would come to the conclusion that there is just too much baggage – there is just too much that is worthless and genuinely damaging to others. They will have realized, “I cannot go on. I cannot love others and love God in the midst of this junk. No more.” And instead of turning their backs on Jesus, they instead decide to follow Jesus all the more – but outside the confines of the Christian religion.

I have thought about things like this before but this is different because it is about actually ceasing to call oneself a Christian. Instead of just agreeing with people that Christianity has problems, these people would completely leave it behind. They wouldn’t bash it – they would just leave it.

Ok, so hopefully that helps some. Again, I’m not suggesting I will do this. I’m sure I won’t. I just wonder if there is a real need for some people to do this.

There is one last thing and it’s very important. I also want to acknowledge that God works through messed up Christianity. I have embraced this more and more over the past couple years. I love the church – all of it. So a question I am still thinking about is how one could leave Christianity behind but also bless Christianity at the same time. I think it must be possible to embrace both - actually, I think it is going to become increasingly essential. Perhaps I’ll write more about this another time. I think this is just as important (see my previous post about reading Christianity for the Rest of Us – this book made me very hopeful for God’s work within the church and is the best book I've read so far this year).

I am a robot. Are you a robot?

Emerging blogs as far as the eye can see...

Brother Maynard has come up with the interesting suggestion of circulating a list of under-rated, under-appreciated, or under-valued emerging/missional blogs to help promote them in the wider blogosphere. Seems like a good idea to me. I particularly enjoy reading "average blogs" but I always have trouble finding good ones. This might help.

The list below is from Prodigal Kiwi(s) Blog - I added the last four.

The Blind Beggar
Emerging Grace
Robbymac
Lily
Nathan Colquhoun
John Smulo
Todd Hiestand
Theopraxis
Chuck Warnock
John Lunt
Webb Kline
Mark Wilson
Rick Meigs
Brother Maynard
MakDaddy
Glenn Hager
Paul Mayers
Jamie Swann
Paul Walker
Jerry Frear
Phil Wyman
Shannon
Matt Stone
Erika Haub
John Santic
Colin Lamm
Julie Clawson
Phil Johnson
Andii Bowsher
John Moorehead
Paul Fromont & Alan Jamieson
Tom Allen
Karen Ward
Malcolm Chamberlain
Adam Moore
Cheryl Lawrie
Mark Berry
Moot
Brushed Blog (Andy)
Emerging in Ludlow (David Bole)
hold : this space
Jim Palmer

To participate, copy this list into a new post on your own blog, and add the names you have to the bottom of the list, and encourage others to do the same. They should be people with under 150 links so we can truly scew the Technorati rankings. When you’ve done that, leave a comment at Brother Maynard’s blog so he can keep track of who ends up participating. Also check out the comments on his initial entry and that will keep you busy a long time!

Giving up Christianity?

In chapter five of How (Not) to Speak of God, Pete Rollins writes about a movie called Amen. The movie takes place during World War II in Germany and centers on two religious figures – one a Protestant youth worker and the other a Catholic priest. Both individuals try to tell their religious leaders about the genocide occurring, but the churches resist, keeping their eyes closed to the atrocities. Rollins looks in particular at the Catholic priest who in the movie wonders if it would be possible for all the Christians in Germany to convert to Judaism – hoping the Nazis could not resist such a large and influential number of people. Of course this large-scale conversion does not happen but the priest “in complete frustration, and with a crushing sense of obligation towards the persecuted…takes his own advice. In tears he turns from that which he loves more than life itself – his own faith tradition – and becomes a Jew. By taking on the Jewish identity he suffers with the persecuted, voluntarily taking his place on the trains that run to Auschwitz.” Rollins points out, “It was his very tradition (or rather his interpretation of that tradition) that demanded that he should give up that tradition.” In other words, the priest believed his faith called for him to give up his religion and become one of the persecuted. Rollins asks, “would you be prepared to give up your religious tradition in order to affirm that tradition?”

This really got me thinking.

What if some Christians were called to give up Christianity in order to follow Jesus? What if it was their strong faith and trust in Jesus that compelled them to give up Christianity?

I don’t mean this in a symbolic way. I mean what if I (for example) stopped calling myself a Christian. If someone directly asked me, “Are you a Christian?,” I would simply respond, with full honesty, “no.” What if I (remember, I’m just using myself as an example) stopped doing “Christian” things? No more Easter or Christmas holidays. No more church (ok, I’ve already done that one). Simply no more Christian religious traditions. Not because I don’t like these traditions – I may even love some of them – but rather, so that I could live as a follower of Jesus, obeying him and pursuing his purposes, more than ever.

I certainly don’t think this is for everyone (or maybe even anyone). And I am not trying to make a statement here. It wouldn’t be an “anti-Christian” kind of thing. Just like the priest in the movie, I would be giving up what I love in order to better follow and live what I love. Again, this isn’t for everyone but what if some Christians decided to give up Christianity to follow Jesus? Not as an evangelistic scheme but simply out of a compulsion to follow Jesus all the more, and in a way that would not be possible within the confines of the Christian religion.

I know this is bizarre. It really is. I really can’t imagine saying to someone “I’m not a Christian.” And I’m certainly not saying I am going to start doing this. Nonetheless, I have really been thinking about this a lot ever since reading this part of Rollins’ book.

So what do you think? Completely ridiculous? Unnecessary? An abomination to God? Or is there maybe something to it…? Cast your vote in the comments. I’d love to hear your thoughts.

(By the way, is anyone interested in watching the movie with me?)

How (Not) to Speak of God – Chapter 5: The Third Mile

Chapter five concludes the first half of Rollins’ book, the theologically focused portion of the book. The second part of the book will address how the ideas discussed in the first half are made visible in Rollins’ own faith community.

Chapter five is probably the most important chapter of the first half of the book. In this chapter Rollins begins by discussing Truth and Reality. Rollins states: “Truth is God and having knowledge of the Truth is evidenced, not in a doctrinal system, but in allowing that Truth to be incarnated in one’s life.” A “theoretical system will [not] bring life” but rather “to know the truth is thus to be known and transformed by the Truth.”

For Rollins, the transformative power of Truth is found in Love. Much of the rest of the chapter is dedicated to examining God’s “prejudice towards love.” In summary, Rollins sees love as the central message of God/Jesus. Jesus did not come to provide us with a better/new ethical system. He also did not come to simply abolish the Law. Rather, he brings us a new way of viewing the law/ethics – we are to view it with a prejudice of love. Rather than focusing on the letter of the law we are to interpret the law through the lens of love. Rollins relates this to how we read scripture. Rollins believes “Jesus taught us not merely to read the scriptures, but to enter into a dialogue with them: a dialogue that is saturated and directed by love.” And later, “our reading of the Bible must be re-examined and wrestled with repeatedly as we encounter the situations that present themselves to us.”

In concluding the chapter, Rollins reminds us that “we cannot force this radical, Christ-like love, we cannot work it up or commit to living in this way.” Rather, this love “is gained only as we give up. To be born of God is to be born of love. Here we come into contact with Meister Eckhart, who claims that we must let go of ourselves in such a manner that we can become a dwelling-place in which God can reside and from which God can flow. Our own works and beliefs are dethroned by the enthronement of God. What is important for Eckhart is not to think correctly, or to work hard, but rather to engage in a type of concrete ego-death by which the divine is invited to enter the place which we have laid down. The hope is that in so doing, love will flow from us.”

And lastly, “in so doing, we will not merely sit around describing the world, but rather, we will become the iconic spaces in which God is made manifest in the world.”

There’s a little more I want to discuss about this chapter but this is probably enough for now. As for the second half of the book, I am not planning to blog through it. I will probably read through the rest and put together a concluding entry about what we can take away from this book. Anyways, more on this will come later.

Others in this series:
- Introduction
- Chapter 1
- Chapter 2
- Chapter 3
- Chapter 4

The Irresistible Revolution

(Don't miss the great discussion going on with this post. It's not too late to join in. Check it out.)

I've been reading Shane Claiborne's The Irresistible Revolution.

It's really great. You should read it. I mean it. I don't say this too often but I think this is a book everyone should read.

But unfortunately, I can't read it anymore.

I can't take anymore.

Shane is this incredible guy with an incredible story who is not very incredible at all. He's just an ordinary guy who wants to follow Jesus. Shane lives with the poor in Philadelphia and has given his life to follow Jesus in the margins of society - kind of like Jesus actually.

I like Shane's message. I like Shane. I highly recommend his book. But I just can't read it anymore.

Basically I just don't know what to do with it. I am really affected by Shane's story in this book. I think he is right. I think Jesus asks us to give up everything and to truly love our neighbor. But at the same time I don't know what that should look like for me. Are we all called to sell everything and live with the poor? I kind of think not but I also tend to agree with Shane that Jesus wasn't just speaking metaphorically when he talked about possessions, serving, loving others, etc. Part of me really thinks we (the church) should be living just like Shane. Why wouldn't we? Oh yeah, it does take a lot of sacrifice. And quite frankly, whether right or wrong, I'd rather do one of two things. One, say how nice the book is, praise Shane (and others like him), but make sure to point out that Jesus didn't really mean for everyone to live like Shane is living. Or two, decide to do some nice community service. Some nice community service where I get to feel better about myself but then go back to my nice smelling house.

Believe me, I'm not making any statements here. Don't be offended or anything. I really just don't know how to take this kind of message. I've heard it quite a bit before, it's affected me before, and I've ignored it before. I'm just going to stop the process now before it repeats itself again.

Any thoughts? I'm really interested to hear what any of you might have to share. Anyone else screwed up like me?

Faces (one year later)

One year ago today is when it all started to happen. I remember having lunch with Brooke that day, a year ago. It's strange to think about it.

Tomorrow we will mark the day with friends and family and a memorial at the cemetery. I think it will be a good thing. A way to look back, remember, and continue to move forward.

As I was looking for another post to recycle this week (by the way, look forward to new posts next week), I knew this was the one. It is fitting.

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I was greatly affected by the faces of the people I encountered on March 9 and 10. I remember them clearly.

The first face I remember is Brooke. Sitting on our couch and looking into her eyes, I could tell she was worried. She told me something had changed – “could this be a problem?” I remember Amy’s worried face as she and Aaron were right beside us.

Later, I spoke with Amanda on the phone. I couldn't see her face but her words pierced me. I can still hear her saying, “oh, Adam,” after I told her our concerns. Her emotion revealed to me her unspoken reaction, “this can’t be true.”

We went to the hospital and our fears were soon confirmed. We were losing our baby. It was only a matter of time. When Dr. Becker arrived at the hospital I could see his face change as he realized who we were and immediately remembered our story. I had spoken with him on the phone earlier but I don’t think he had connected our names with our faces. It didn’t take him long when he walked into our room. By his facial expression I could tell he recalled our situation and remembered this was a much longed for baby. Our doctor was hurting for us – his face gave it away.

Soon after, Brooke’s parents arrived at the hospital. I can still see Jan running to her precious daughter’s side. There were tears and I knew both Jan and Richard were aching for this loss. Their faces were full of tears and heartbreak. They were hurting for the loss of their first grandchild and for the pain they knew their own first-born child was going through.

After an initial sonogram we learned it would likely be a long day. I decided to go and see our friends who had come to the hospital and were in the waiting room supporting us. I was having a hard time holding myself together. I needed to let them know what was going on and that they should probably leave until more happened. I remember seeing another group in the waiting room – presumably there to rejoice over the birth of a new grandchild, niece, cousin, etc. Their faces were excited. I almost lost it when I looked over and saw Amy, Amanda, Jeff, and Nan. Amy’s face was red and full of tears. So was Amanda’s. Jeff and Nan’s faces revealed hurt as well - but also a look of experience. They had been here before in their own lives, not this particular experience, but others like it. Their faces showed it – in some small way, they understood the pain. The faces of these four probably affected me more than any other (besides Brooke). I knew they were hurting for us and with us. Suddenly and somewhat unexpectedly I knew we were not alone.

Our expectation of a long day of labor quickly proved incorrect. Soon after a second sonogram, Brooke unpredictably began to experience some intense labor pains. At the time neither of us really knew what was going on – even the nurse and our doctor were quite surprised that this was it – the baby was coming, now. Closing my eyes right now, I can see Brooke in more pain than she had ever experienced before. Her face revealed physical pain, emotional shock, and much fear of what was happening. My beloved was going through something terrible and there was little I could do. While looking into her face and trying to be present for her, I was hurting for my beautiful wife. Our baby was about to be born without any life in him.

Later, after the birth, and after Brooke was doing much better physically, I walked outside our room and saw Kim. She gave me a much-needed hug as she spoke words of disbelief through her own tears. This dear friend’s face revealed the same confusion and shock I was experiencing. I remember going back into our room and feeling somewhat overwhelmed by the love and care I had seen in her face and felt in her arms. Again, I knew we were not alone. Even in the midst of my own complete shock, searing pain, and overwhelming fear, in that brief moment, as in the other similar moments of this terrible day, I was strengthened in a way I desperately needed.

There were many other encounters with loved-ones during the rest of that day, and in the following days and weeks, but the other one that significantly impacted me that particular morning was seeing my dearest friend, Rishi. Rishi is an emotional person. I am typically not. When I saw Rishi I could tell he was trying not too look into my face. I knew if he did, he would completely lose it. His face showed that he was trying his very best to hold back the tears that were wanting to come. It didn’t take long before we were both crying. This brother was not just hurting for me. He did not just feel bad about this situation. He was truly hurting with me in a way I will never forget.

In each of the situations I have described, the faces of these individuals communicated to me A Great Love that somehow sustained me during this torturous day. I do not know how I (we) made it through that day or the weeks that have followed (and I'm not real sure how we are going to continue to make it), but I do know that looking into those precious faces is something I hope to never forget.

I (we) still need these faces. We have a long way to go. I am still hurting. I am still afraid. I need to see faces that remind me I am not alone. Faces that remind me I am loved.

(original entry - March 29, 2006)

Sharing Life

I came across a great Henri Nouwen quote over at Jordon Cooper's blog. It hit me right in the gut - very simple but profound (I had forgotten how wonderful Nouwen is). In fact, I liked it so much that I did a little research, found out where the quote was from (Gracias: A Latin American Journal), and ended up typing out the entire journal entry. The bold part is the original quote - you might read this first, and if you like it, you can read the rest. I hope some of you find this beneficial (by the way, go ahead and consider this another kind of blog recycling - using a post from someone else's blog).

Oh, one more thing, this reminded me a lot of something I posted awhile back by George Macdonald - some of his crazy thoughts on church (an excerpt from Robert Falconer).

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After more than a month in Pamplona Alta, I have come to believe strongly that a “pastoral presence” is more important than any plan or project. This conviction has grown out of the observation that, more than anything else, people want you to share their lives. This afternoon I simply walked to where I heard music. About six blocks from where I live, I soon saw people dancing around a tree and cutting it down bit by bit. It proved to be a carnival celebration that is popular in the jungle of Peru, and that some emigrants had transported to Pamplona Alta.

Although nobody knew me, it didn’t take long for people to offer me a drink and to make me part of their fiesta. One member of the band told me without blinking an eye that he was a drug dealer and had just imported a kilo of “cocaine pasta” from Colombia. He said: “I look simple and poor, but I have a good business and make enough money to go to the World Cup games in Spain.” When I told him that I had met a lot of drug buyers and drug dealers in the Lurigancho prison, he was hardly impressed. It seemed that he worked for the drug underworld, and that he was so well protected that his frankness about his business was not any real risk for him.

Besides this drug dealer, there were many others who wanted to tell me their stories, some jokingly, others seriously, some heavily inebriated, others with a clear mind. What struck me most of all was the easy way in which these Peruvians received me and let me be one of them.

More and more, the desire grows in me simply to walk around, greet people, enter their homes, sit on their doorsteps, play ball, throw water, and be known as someone who wants to live with them. It is a privilege to have the time and the freedom to practice this simple ministry of presence. Still, it is not as simple as it seems. My own desire to be useful, to do something significant, or to be part of some impressive project is so strong that soon my time is taken up by meetings, conferences, study groups, and workshops that prevent me from walking the streets. It is difficult not to have plans, not to organize people around an urgent cause, and not to feel that you are working directly for social progress. But I wonder more and more if the first thing shouldn’t be to know people by name, to eat and to drink with them, to listen to their stories and tell your own, and to let them know with words, handshakes, and hugs that you do not simply like them, but truly love them.

If I ever decide to live in Peru for a long time, I think I should stay in one place and spend the first year doing little more than participating in the daily Peruvian life. A ministry of word and sacrament has to grow from a deep solidarity with the people. Contemplation is essential to ministry, and listening to people’s lives and receiving them in a prayerful heart is true contemplation. I have little doubt that out of this contemplation it will become clear how the good news of the Gospel has to be announced, and how the healing presence of God needs to be made manifest among his people.

The greatest news of all is that God is with his people, that he is truly present. What greater ministry, then, can be practiced than a ministry that reflects this divine presence? And why worry? If God is with his own, his own will show me the way.

Recycling is good, right?

This upcoming week is going to be kind of busy for me. Instead of neglecting the blog, I have decided to recycle some previous posts (good for the environment, right?). So here is the first of a few "recycled posts" I will offer this week. Hopefully they will be new to many of you and still worthwhile to the rest of you. Here's one from my Xanga days.

God has been teaching me some about the infinite value of each individual person as a unique creation and expression of God. Of course this is an easy idea to take hold of and support. The problem is actually living one's life with this as a reality.

I have been convicted of some false thinking I easily fall into in this area. The temptation is to believe that I am special and that others just do not, and cannot, understand me. Of course, the problem is not in thinking that I am special or unique (that is certainly true, as it is for everyone), the problem is in thinking (and living like) I am more special than others - more important than others. I am coming to the realization that it is really just pride that causes me to think such things. What I am really thinking (to myself that is) is that I am better than/more important than/more significant than the person I believe "cannot understand me." What I am really saying is that all people should be me - all people should be like me/as good as me/as wonderful as me. This is all just another example of our horrible "self-addiction" (at least I hope I am not the only one!).

I think the reality is that we are indeed all unique and especially significant. And in a sense we really cannot ever completely understand each other. But this is not a deficit in God's creation - this is one of the great wonders of God's creation. We are all different, we are all a different idea/thought/result of God's love in creation. So the hope is that we might/I might embrace the uniqueness of our neighbors (fellow sons and daughters of God) and truly allow our eyes to be opened to see the expression of God in each one - even in those with whom we feel we share no natural similarities.

(check out the original Xanga post)

Leaving Church (Leaving Faith?)

"I will never go back to Christianity. I might visit a church, once in a while. But I will never go back."

This statement concludes the most recent entry on the new website "Letters from Leavers." I have only had a chance to scan through some of the first entries but so far it looks to be a very interesting new site. Here's the opening note from the founders of the site:

"Have you ever left a Christian Church Community?

"If you have moved on from church, we want to hear from you. Speak up and express your thoughts and feelings. Post a letter to this blog about your church experience and why you left. Write your letter with a specific church in mind or address it to the Church as a whole. It's up to you.

"We created this website to be a safe space for those who have left to freely tell their stories. Please tell us yours. "

How intriguing! What a great idea for a blog/website.

I am planning to submit my own story on the site and will post it here as well. However, until then, are any of you "church leavers?" Like I said, my story will be coming soon.

If any of this is interesting to you, be sure to check out Alan Jamieson's book, A Churchless Faith - an excellent read. I blogged about it a little bit here.

(Thanks to TSK for the intial tip. Prodigal Kiwi(s) Blog and Pomomusings have also been talking about it.)

A picture of a cow

How (Not) to Speak of God - Chapter 4: Inhabiting the God-shaped hole

In chapter four, Rollins refers to the idea of the “God-shaped hole.” The typical understanding of the God-shaped hole is that each person has something missing in him or her, which leads to a longing for God. While there is certainly something to be said about this statement, Rollins turns the idea upside-down (yes, he likes to do this). Using an example from literature (The Stranger by Albert Camus), Rollins asks how we are to address those who do not express a longing for God? How does Christianity relate to people who see “the religious question” as completely irrelevant?

These questions really resonate with my own experience. Some years ago my perspective was simply to force the religious question – force people to make a decision about Jesus/God. However, experientially (in my own life and in relating to others) I have come to see this as a fruitless and often useless path. How can you tell someone they need God/Jesus if they have no desire for God/Jesus? How can you tell someone they are lacking if they feel no lack? Does it work to tell someone they have a God-shaped hole in their heart if they sense no symptoms of this hole? Perhaps even more importantly, why would you make these demands of someone? This seems to be the height of arrogance. This seems to me just like saying, “You are lacking and the way you can be fixed is to believe things like I do.” To say this to someone who is happy and content with life can be both useless and egotistical.

So instead of the God-shaped hole being “something that exists until being filled,” Rollins proposes that “the God-shaped hole can be understood as precisely that which is left in the aftermath of God.” Rollins continues:

“The believer far from once having a God-shaped hole in his or her being that is now filled, is one who has a God-shaped hole formed in the aftermath of God, a hole that compels them to seek after that which they already have. The Christian religion arises as a space that testifies to God by testifying to a God who created, but who cannot be contained, within the space. The void left by God is not unlike a type of black hole, full of something that cannot be seen and which draws our gaze into the unseen.”

In summary, Rollins is saying that the God-shaped hole is evidence that one has already experienced God – experienced God in a way that has left the person hungry for more, hungry for something they may not even understand to be God.

With this shift in focus, the Christian religion is no longer the answer to what people lack, but instead provides a space to provoke ultimate questions - not only for the unbeliever, but for us all. And along with this, Rollins proposes that God is ultimately found in the seeking. Asking the questions is evidence of the God-shaped hole – the aftermath of an experience of God. Rollins states it much better than me:

“In short, a true spiritual seeking can be understood as the ultimate sign that one already has that which one seeks to grasp. Consequently a genuine seeking after God is evidence of having found. Of course, much desire that appears to seek after God is nothing of the sort…A true seeking after God results from an experience of God which one falls in love with for no reason other than finding God irresistibly lovable. In this way the lovers of God are the ones who are most passionately in search of God.”

Think about this. Read it a couple times perhaps. At first I thought this was the least significant chapter of the book so far. However, after a second read and some reflection, I think this chapter is the most important one so far! And I also realized that it resonates with my experience very deeply. I hope it resonates with a few of you as well.

Others in this series:
- Introduction
- Chapter 1
- Chapter 2
- Chapter 3
- Chapter 5

It's Time

I’ve shared before that it has been difficult to really get excited about our current pregnancy. Before twenty weeks I was especially not allowing myself to get excited – there was just too much risk. I think my natural defense mechanisms were working full-time to keep down any excitement. However, since 20 weeks the excitement has been really growing in me. This week I have found myself looking forward to meeting the baby and I’ve been getting excited again about the idea of raising a child. I saw a mother walking across campus the other day with a 3 or 4 year old little girl and it really hit me. It’s hard to imagine having a little one in our home and having a child grow up with us as the parents! Wow! Anyways, I’ve said a couple times that part of me has really been wanting to jump in and be excited about this pregnancy and the idea of having a baby, but I haven’t allowed myself because it was just too scary. Well, I think it’s time. It’s time to get excited. It’s time to jump in. It’s still a little scary (part of me figures by writing this entry I am sealing our eventual doom) but I think it’s worth the risk.

[I know you've probably seen this sonogram picture on Brooke's blog, but I think it's worth posting here too - I think it's wonderful]

Israel

I've been listening to the Pete Rollins talks I mentioned last week and something small stuck out to me as I was listening. I think it is worth mentioning. Rollins briefly points out a thought-provoking difference between Israel and Islam. The word 'Islam' means 'submission' - in particular the idea is submission to God. The word 'Israel' means 'he who wrestles with God.' Rollins simply points this out to address the significance of the meaning of 'Israel.' He finds it intriguing (and so do I) that when God chose a people he identified them as ones who wrestle with God. This is quite different than the idea of submission. Of course the Bible also talks about submitting to God, but I just think it is fascinating that wrestling with God should be a distinction of the people of God. Rather than being merely a god of submission and authority, the God of Abraham, Issac, and Jacob is a God who allows, and even welcomes, intimate wrestling between God and his people.

This is comforting to me. God does not push us into submission with his heel pressed on our neck, but rather he allows us to wrestle with him - even blessing us through the wrestling (Gen 32:22-32).

I will stop here - there is much more that can be said but perhaps leaving it open for thought is best of all.

[Aside: Rollins is not making any statement against Islam here. He is just wanting to bring out the idea that the people of God are those who wrestle with God.]

How (Not) to Speak of God – Chapter 3: A/theology as icon

One theme running throughout chapter three, and the entire book, is the idea that we should approach “the divine mystery as something to be transformed by rather than solved.” I believe the implications of this statement are vast – perhaps significant enough to change the face of majority-Christianity. I was particularly affected by how this view changes the way we understand the unity of the Church.

Returning to the analogy of a painting he used earlier in the book, Rollins states: “…what unites Christians is not that we somehow grasp the true meaning (another way of saying ‘my meaning’) of the painting, as if it can be reduced to a singular message, but that we are seduced and transformed by it. [We must] find unity not by a type of cloning by which all Christians are encouraged to believe the same thing, thus forming one master denomination, but amidst denominational diversity.”

Do you see the implications for the unity of the church in moving to a view of God as “something to be transformed by rather than solved”? If as Christians we are trying to solve a formula, then it makes sense that our unity would be based on the goal of all holding to the same understanding of the formula. But we are not trying to solve a formula. Rather, our unity should be found in the fact that we all love the same painting (to use Rollins’ analogy). This frees us from the division and discord of working to find one ‘true’ interpretation - instead together we can love and be transformed by God, gaining from the perspectives of those who are transformed in ways unlike ourselves.

This view also leaves room for doubt within the Church. Rollins states: “In contrast to the modern view that religious doubt is something to reject, fear or merely tolerate, doubt not only can be seen as an inevitable aspect of our humanity but also can be celebrated as a vital part of faith.” If God is not a formula to be solved, then there is freedom to doubt. If we realize following Jesus and believing in God is often unclear, then we can acknowledge doubt as a part of faith - we can even embrace faith and doubt as equally valid aspects of the journey, rather than incongruous opposites.

Lastly, I want to leave you with a few (ok, maybe more than a few) final words from chapter three. This was too good to leave out:

“In contrast to the view that evangelism is that which gives an answer for those who are asking, we must have faith to believe that those who seek will find for themselves. If this is true, then the job of the Church is not to provide an answer – for the answer is not a phrase or doctrine – but rather to help encourage the religious question to arise.”

And later:

“In short, the emerging community must endeavour to be a question rather than an answer and an aroma rather than food. It must seek to offer an approach that enables the people of God to become the parable, aroma, and salt of God in the world, helping to form a space where God can give of God. For too long the Church has been seen as an oasis in the desert – offering water to those who are thirsty. In contrast, the emerging community appears more as a desert in the oasis of life, offering silence, space and desolation amidst the sickly nourishment of Western capitalism. It is in this desert, as we wander together as nomads, that God is to be found. For it is here that we are nourished by our hunger.”

Others in this series:
- Introduction
- Chapter 1
- Chapter 2
- Chapter 4
- Chapter 5

Reading God's Ultimate Passion

I recently finished reading a review copy of God’s Ultimate Passion, a new book by church planter Frank Viola. In short, Viola's book is a re-telling of the three primary tales he finds within scripture. In Viola’s own words:

“The first is the story of a God who is an ageless romantic driven by one consuming pursuit. The second is the tale of a God who has sought for eternity to have a resting place – a habitation – a home. The third is the tale of a God from another realm who visits planet earth to establish a heavenly colony that will give Him visible expression.”

There are a number of positive elements to the book. In particular, there is a strong emphasis on the unconditional love of God. Secondly, and related, Viola expresses a very high regard for the church - the true body of Christ. We are not separate from Christ, we are united and one with Christ. Both of these elements are central to the book and I sincerely appreciate this perspective.

While there is much to praise about this book, I did find myself frustrated at various points. First, I see Viola’s book as a hyper-spiritualized picture of Christianity and church. This isn’t necessarily bad - I just had a hard time bringing the ideas of the book down to earth and relating them to practical living. In addition, at times I felt Viola was proclaiming “the one right way” of seeing things. I’m sure Viola would not say this directly, but for some reason that attitude came across as I read.

In conclusion, there is definitely much to gain from reading God’s Ultimate Passion – it just wasn’t anything new or groundbreaking for me. But for others it may be exactly what they need to hear.

It's all about the name

Brooke and I are busy discussing a name for our baby girl. Well, not at the moment. At the moment I am taking a lunch break at work and Brooke is probably at work. At least I hope she is. And I'm actually sitting in my office typing words. What I meant is that both Brooke and I have been spending time thinking and discussing names for our little girl who we are expecting in May. And actually, I should say, what if it's not a little girl? What if it's a big girl? Or a medium sized girl? Anyways, you get the idea. It's a girl. We need a name.

So...I haven't brought this up with Brooke yet but I was figuring a good way to name the baby would be to have a blog contest with the winner getting to name our child. Good idea, right? I'm sure Brooke will love it. Look forward to it and start thinking of good names.

Actually, I started writing this entry because I was wondering your thoughts about names. Is a name really that important? What does it say about the parents? And most importantly, what does it say about the child? Would a person turn out exactly the same no matter what her name is? I don't know really...I kind of think the name makes a difference in some way. I think if I had been named Ted I would have turned out much differently. Not that there's anything wrong with the name Ted.

What do you think? Does the name make a difference?

Oh, and by the way, about the contest. I was lying. There will be no contest. Now, I am sure Brooke would have loved it, but I just realized it might work better to sell the naming rights on Ebay. I'm going to look into it...

And don't ask us what names we're thinking of. We won't tell you. We will tell you when we've made a final decision though. You all will be the first to know (or maybe second, or third, or...)

Lazy Blogging

Alright, I admit it - I've been lazy about blogging this past week. As a result, here's a lazy blog entry for you (it's still worth every bit of your time though - believe me).

1. Chapter 3 of How (Not) to Speak of God will have to wait until next Monday (so sorry). But until then, join me in listening to some Pete Rollins mp3 talks available online. And if you haven't read my recent entries about this excellent book, feel free to catch up (Introduction, Chapter 1, and Chapter 2).

12. Speaking of book reviews and online audio talks, do you remember my previous entries regarding Spencer Burke and Barry Taylor's A Heretic's Guide to Eternity (parts 1 and 2)? Well, this weekend I listened to an interesting mp3 interview with Spencer. He talks about the book and some of the conversations it has provoked. It is worth listening to - I think Burke/Taylor have provided a lot of good fodder for conversation.

123. Speaking of podcasts, etc, here's an audio interview with Scot McKnight of Jesus Creed fame.

1234. And lastly, speaking of book reviews and such, I will be reviewing Frank Viola's new book, God's Ultimate Passion, in the next week or so (I've already read it). If you're interested in how Viola sees himself fitting into the emerging church conversation, then you might enjoy his most recent newsletter (I am particularly refering to the part under "Question #1").

12345. And beyond lastly, thanks to all of you who commented on the "Church as Friends and Wayfarers" post. So many good thoughts. If you haven't read them, you should. They're certainly worth reading.

"Church as friends and wayfarers"

Paul Fromont (Prodigal Kiwi(s) Blog) recently blogged about a church “outsider” who visited four area churches and came to the conclusion that there was no reason she, or any of her friends, would have any interest in church. I appreciate that rather than becoming defensive, Paul wonders why church is not irrelevant to him as well. He admits that often his own experiences of deep connection with God and others takes place outside of a Sunday church service. He goes on to describe such an experience and I found his comments both encouraging and familiar:

“… gathered with friends around food, wine, conversation that both floats on the surface and dives to depth, laughter, memories and stories of life lived on the edge – creatively and imaginatively. This felt sacramental to me, this felt like church – God present amongst us, conversation as prayer and gratitude; the moon, stillness and changing colours of the evening drawing the “wow” of worship from me. Church with good people whose experience of life and living is honest, rich and deep; church as the arms of welcome and hospitality extended… Church as friends and wayfarers in all their diversity gathered together around food and wine, the telling of stories, and the nurturing and nourishing of the desire to live life out of an alternative script.”

For some reason I went on to connect these thoughts with an entry from moot blog discussing a desire to start a café church. I don’t know exactly what the writer’s ideas of a café church are, but the mention of it provoked some thought for me. I have heard of churches that meet in coffee shops or pubs. And I’ve heard of churches that start coffee shops. But I’m wondering about taking it a step further. What about a coffee shop that is a church? Or a pub that is a church? Is this possible? Is this just plain silly? I don’t know…but it got me thinking…

What do you think? Can a coffee shop be a church? If you have an initial reaction of ‘no,’ try to stop and think beyond the boundaries of our common, and even not-so-common ideas of church. But either way, I’m interested in your thoughts. What do you think?

[Quick confession – I don’t drink coffee.]

How (Not) to Speak of God – Chapter 2: The aftermath of theology

In chapter 2, Rollins charts a new path for theology. Instead of understanding theology as the task of defining God, Rollins challenges us to view theology as a “worshipful response to God.” Theology is “where God speaks into human discourse,” the place where God “overwhelms” us. Rather than being something we “do,” theology is something that acts on us – we are “overcome and transformed by it.” Rollins sums this up in the following:

“If theology comes to be understood as the place where God speaks, then we must seek, not to speak of God, but rather to be that place where God speaks. Through our words and actions we seek to be the site of revelation through which people encounter the life-giving Word of God.”

Rollins explores and expands these thoughts in a number of ways throughout the rest of chapter two. I want to briefly focus on two intriguing (and admittedly somewhat confusing) aspects of the discussion.

God as known and unknown - Rollins contends that “in the same way the sun blinds the one who looks directly at its light, so God’s incoming blinds our intellect.” In this way, God is both transcendent and immanent. Rather than a “poverty of absence” we experience an “excess of presence.” God is “concealed amidst revelation,” therefore the God of Christ is “an un/known God.”

Christianity as theism and atheism - This perspective recognizes we must "affirm our view of God while at the same time realizing that that view is inadequate.” In this way, we hold both “atheism and theism in the cradle of faith.” This a/theistic faith admits to the “oscillation between understanding and unknowing” and comes from a “deep reflection and sustained meditation.” Lastly, this a/theism is not a temporary state, as we move towards a place of certainty. No, this faithful a/theism is “a type of heat-inducing friction that prevents our liquid images of the divine from cooling and solidifying into idolatrous form.”

So what is the purpose of this strange language (God as un/known and Christianity as a/theism)? I think these concepts are helpful as a way to keep us from polarizing seemingly incompatible concepts. Rather than declaring God as known and simply rejecting those who see God as wholly mysterious, we can instead embrace God as un/known. He is “hyper-present,” blinding us in the midst of revelation. Also, instead of becoming rigid and creating an intellectual idol of our God, we can faithfully recognize that our image of God is always lacking and incomplete. All of this occurs within the context of faithfulness - embracing a/theism and acknowledging our God as un/known.

Perhaps Rollins’ concluding words from chapter 2 will provide some help:

“This site of uncertainty and unknowing is often a frightening place to dwell, but while the comfort provided by religion is placed into a certain distress by the idea of doubt, this distress, too, is not without a certain comfort. For while we do not grasp God, faith is born amidst the feeling that God grasps us.”

Others in this series:
- Introduction
- Chapter 1
- Chapter 3
- Chapter 4
- Chapter 5

Reading/Watching/Listening/Etc.

In honor of the end of the work-week, here's some of the best and most interesting stuff I've been reading/watching/listening to recently (and a few interesting bits of news thrown in for good measure).

1. Just saw this today - The Screwtape Letters is coming to the big screen. Check out Jeffrey Overstreet's thoughts (thanks to J.O. for the info). Personally, I am very skeptical. I don't know how you would make this into a movie. I don't know how 'they' won't screw it up. Actually, I think they have simply chosen the wrong Lewis book. For a long time, I've thought The Great Divorce (maybe my favorite book) would be the best Lewis book to make into a movie. The images in that book are just made to jump off the screen. Anyways, interesting news nonetheless.

2. I just got the DVD for Frisbee: The life and death of a hippie preacher. I am so excited to watch this! I have been following the news of this documentary for over a year. I am glad it is finally on DVD and I can see it. If any of the following interests you, you should check it out: the Jesus movement, hippie Christians, 60's counter-culture, the charismatic/pentecostal movements, the fallacy of clearly dividing 'sinner' and 'saint,' how God uses people who do not fit the typical mold, and/or the changing of history to remove those who are unwanted.

3. I thought these were valuable reflections (from Odyssey Blog):

"In my experience we are not patient enough, thoughtful enough, or daring enough in our congregations. It's not so much that we lack appreciation for the cultures we find ourselves immersed within. Rather, we largely lack the imaginative power and revolutionary patience to genuinely birth gospel experiments that know the language of faith well enough to give it life within the language of our culture so that creation is recovered for the glory of God." (see the rest of the entry)

I have been particularly thinking about the need for "imaginative power" and creativity in these types of endeavors. Good thoughts.

4. Have you seen Little Miss Sunshine? I saw it last week and thought it was great. I couldn't stop laughing about the horn honking on its own. I don't know why but that was the funniest part for me! It is also profound and touching at moments. Just a good overall movie. I want to see it again.

5. I'm simply loving this cd. I can't stop listening to it. I can't stop (I tried).

6. Just finished reading A Generous Orthodoxy, by Brian McLaren. It is the sixth one of his books I have read, and the first I won't be widely recommending. I didn't have any problems with the book (like some people did), it just never grabbed my attention - nothing very new I guess.

7. We bought a crib. I really think the teddy bear has come alive in the picture. Am I the only one who finds it frightening?

Have a great weekend.

Reflections

I guess it’s been awhile since I’ve been very reflective here. I don’t know why. I guess my writing habits go through phases.

So…we’re 23 weeks into the pregnancy now. This is a good thing. We lost Zach at 20 weeks last March, so it is good to be past that mark. We didn’t know if it was possible or not. There has definitely been some relief in passing the twenty week mark. I’ve been telling people that this pregnancy has felt like climbing over a mountain. For the first twenty weeks, with each week we got closer and closer to the top – closer and closer to the point we were most afraid of, the twenty week mark. Having passed the twenty week mark it now feels like we are finally going down the other side of the mountain - no longer struggling uphill. And rather than getting closer and closer to “impending doom,” we are now moving further and further from where we lost our baby last time, and closer to the long-awaited goal. It finally feels like we are making progress. At least for me, this has certainly provided some much-needed relief. I realize we are not home-free but at least we are going downhill now (in a good way). I find myself slowly getting more and more excited. I think this is true for Brooke too, even though it is certainly more difficult for her.

I really want to get excited. There is a part of me that really wants to jump in and be thrilled about everything that is happening - hopeful and excited about having a child. But the other part of me – the part that still fears so much – wants to hold back and be careful. Thankfully, the part that wants to jump in is increasing.

Things are still hard. We’ll have a couple better weeks and then some bad days. The better weeks make me want to forget the past and all that is still difficult. But then the bad days come and there seems no escape. There are too many difficult things all around us still. How can we ever move through it all? We are certainly changed. My prayer is that we can emerge from all of this and start anew. I hope the healthy birth of our baby will allow this to happen – new life in our child, and new life for us.

For now, there is hope.

How (Not) to Speak of God: Chapter 1 – God rid me of God

**Note (1/31): see Andy's thoughts about this post at his blog called Brushed. I hope you check it out - it's well worth reading.**

--------------

In chapter 1 of How (Not) to Speak of God, Peter Rollins indirectly asks the question, “Can we know God?” He addresses both those who look to the authority of the Bible and quickly reply “yes” and those who have abandoned any hope of knowing God, turning instead to a purely ethics-based religion. Rollins refuses to follow either of these two paths. He believes in revelation but rejects the idea that we can reduce God to a simple, linear, and coherent definition - Rollins calls this “conceptual idolatry.” Instead of creating an image or physical idol to represent God, too many of us have “reduce[d] God to an intellectual object.” Rollins looks to the Bible and reminds us that it does not provide us with one clear image of God, but rather a multitude of descriptions and revelations. Regarding the vast God of the Bible, Rollins writes:

“We are presented with a warrior God and a peacemaker, a God of territorial allegiance and a God who transcends all territorial divides, an unchanging God and a God who can be redirected, a God of peace and a God of war, a God who is always watching the world and a God who fails to notice the oppression against Israel in Egypt.”

Rather than trying to reduce these “inconsistencies” the authors of the Bible seem to resist any attempt to create one clear and defined picture of God. Rollins provides many other examples in scripture that seem to “[describe] a God who is not explicable.” Job is perhaps the best example. His friends tried to provide him with an easy understanding of God; however, in the end the situation transcended any simple explanation.

So what do we make of this? Rollins encourages us to stop thinking of revelation and concealment as opposite ends of a spectrum. Instead, we must realize that “revelation…has concealment built into its very heart.” I want to quote in full the beautiful climax of Rollins’ first chapter:

“Hence revelation ought not to be thought of either as that which makes God known or as that which leaves God unknown, but rather as the overpowering light that renders God known as unknown. This is not dissimilar to a baby being held by her mother – the baby does not understand the mother but rather experiences being known by the mother. In contrast, revelation is often treated as if it can be deciphered into a dogmatic system rather than embraced as the site where the impenetrable secret of God transforms us. In the former, revelation is rendered into an eloquent doctrine, while in the latter, revelation is that which transforms. We are like an infant in the arms of God, unable to grasp but being transformed by the grasp. Revelation can thus be described as bringing to light the secret of God in such a way that it remains secret. God is thus the secret who remains concealed in the sharing. We can thus not speak of a hidden side of God and a manifest side, for we must acknowledge that the manifest side of God is also hidden.

“What is important about revelation is not that we seek to interpret it in the same way but rather that we all love it and are transformed by it. To fail to recognize this would be similar to an art critic saying that what is important when considering a piece of art is that we interpret it correctly rather than loving it and being challenged by it.”

In conclusion, Rollins implores us “to leave aside the need for clarity” and instead “accept the fact that what is important is that we are embraced by the beloved.” And lastly, Rollins says we do not need to give up our definitions of God but instead must realize they all fall short. Rollins looks to the prayer of Meister Eckhart as helpful in this task – Eckhart prayed ‘God rid me of God’ – “a prayer that acknowledges how the God we are in relationship with is bigger, better and different than our understanding of that God.”

What do you think of all this? I realize it may take a couple read-throughs to fully grasp (at least it did for me) but I think there is a lot of value here. Does any of this resonate with you? I think there are a lot of implications of this thinking - we'll get into that more as we go on.

Others in this series:
- Introduction
- Chapter 2
- Chapter 3
- Chapter 4
- Chapter 5

A Few Items of Extreme Importance

1. I left out a favorite blog of mine that you should know about: The Cartoon Blog by Dave Walker - a bunch of great church related cartoons. Here's a recent one I really liked.

2. Check out this very insightful review of John G. Stackhouse, Jr.'s, Finally Feminist. There is so much to discuss here - I think I will get the book and blog about it then. Until then, you should check out the book review and consider getting the book.

What did you think of the thoughts expressed in the review?

3. As I mentioned in my most recent entry, I've been enjoying the Democracy in America blog by Economist.com. Maybe if I keep reading they'll even convince me to vote or something. Anyways, this article regarding the Wars in Iraq and Afghanistan is particularly interesting. The discussion in the article is prompted by the following picture:

The author admits that his life is much the same as it was prior to September 11 and he points us to a good question from Jim Lehrer (from an interview with President Bush): "If [the war on terror] is as important as you've just said…why have you not, as president of the United States, asked more Americans and more American interests to sacrifice something?"

Hmmmm...very interesting. There's more - you should check it out. What do you think? Have we been asked to sacrifice? Are you sacrificing? I'm not. What does this mean? Does it say something about the war? I think it does.

Blogs I Can't Live Without

Ok, so maybe that's a little exaggerated...but anyways, here are five of my favorite blogs and five blogs that are becoming favorites (I'm not including any of my blogging friends - they're automatically favorites).

Five Favorites

Democracy in America - Economist.com
Constantly updated. Many contributors. Great references to other articles. The only blog of its kind that I read.

Looking Closer Journal - Jeffrey Overstreet
This is where I get most all of my movie news and reviews. I've been reading since the beginning (of his blog) and I hope it continues for a long time.

Pete Rollins' Blog
Rollins is the author of How (Not) to Speak of God. As long as he keeps blogging consistently, I'll keep reading. I want to read more and more of his thoughts. Lately he's been pretty consistent with updating...I'm hoping that will continue.

Prodigal Kiwi(s) Blog - Paul Fromont (and sometimes Alan Jamieson)
I started reading because I loved reading Jamieson's Churchless Faith. However, I've stayed for the daily insights from Fromont. Always a great source for learning of good articles/blogs. I've been reading this blog for some time but only recently have realized that it is really one of the best.

Tallskinnykiwi - Andrew Jones
Well, he's just the best when it comes to blogging the emerging church. I am very thankful for Mr. Jones.

Five (Becoming) Favorites

The Forgotten Ways - Alan Hirsch
Prompted by Hirsch's new book of the same name, this blog is a new one I check daily. Great thoughts pushing the boundaries of church as we know it.

Jason Clark
He's been blogging a long time. I've just shown up late. Again, another blog worth checking daily.

Mike Hill - the 55th Bishop of Bristol
Anglican Bishop and a new blogger. Great thoughts on the emerging church, from a very intriguing perspective.

Moot Blog - UK Christian community
Ok, so it looks like I'm biased towards the UK...nothing wrong with that. I've been enjoying this one the past couple weeks (found it through Prodigal Kiwi(s) Blog).

Signs of Emergence - Kester Brewin
Yet another emerging church blog and a relatively new blog with an upcoming book of the same title.

Look forward to the follow-up post: "Blogs I Can Live Without" (ok, not really)

What are some of your favorites?

Reading How (Not) to Speak of God: Introduction

Over the next weeks, I am going to attempt to work through Peter Rollins' How (Not) to Speak of God. Everywhere I go in the blogosphere people are raving about this book. Having now read the book, I’m ready to join them. As I read through it I repeatedly thought, “yes, yes, yes!” I also quickly knew I would need to read it twice. So that’s what I’m going to do. I’m going to read it a little at a time and reflect on it here.

A couple rave reviews to get you excited:

“I am a raving fan of the book you are holding. I loved reading it. I have already begun widely recommending it. In fact, I would say this is one of the two or three most rewarding books of theology I have read in ten years.”
- Brian McLaren

“Here in pregnant bud is the rose, the emerging new configuration, of a Christianity that is neither Roman nor Protestant, neither Eastern nor monastic; but rather is the re-formation of all of them. Here, in pregnant bud, is third-millennium Christianity.”
- Phyllis Tickle

Have you ever read such enticing reviews?!

How (Not) to Speak of God is divided into two distinct sections. Part I is the theory – the theological and philosophical framework for the book. Part II is the practice – it describes ten real-life “church services" (Rollins calls them “theodrama[s]”), which seek to put the theory into practice. I love this structure. Rollins appears committed to theology that works itself out in real life – in addition, theology that is intrinsically connected to the church.

One last word for today. Actually a few words, from Rollins himself. After referencing those who find God so infinitely “other” that we cannot speak of him at all, and those who propose to have God figured out quite completely, Rollins bridges the divide and states the following:

“That which we cannot speak of is the one thing about who and to whom we must never stop speaking.”

Look for more next Monday.

Others in this series:
- Chapter 1
- Chapter 2
- Chapter 3
- Chapter 4
- Chapter 5

Grace

Quote from Paul Tillich:

"Grace strikes us when we are in great pain and restlessness. It strikes us when we walk through the dark valley of a meaning-less and empty life. It strikes us when our disgust for our own being, our indifference, our weakness, our hostility, and our lack of direction and composure have become intolerable to us. It strikes us when, year after year, the longed-for-perfection of life does not appear, when the old compulsions reign within us as they have for decades ... Sometimes at that moment a wave of light breaks into the darkness, and it is as though a voice were saying: "You are accepted. You are accepted by that which is greater than you, and the name of which you do not know."... Simply accept that you are accepted! If that happens, we experience grace. After such an experience we may not be better than before, and we may not believe more than before. But everything is transformed... and nothing is demanded of this experience, no religious or moral or intellectual presupposition, nothing but acceptance."

(Thanks to Prodigal Kiwi(s) Blog and Moot Blog)

Children of Men

I saw the movie Children of Men and I want to tell you about it (I don’t think I’m giving away anything that isn’t in the trailer and/or poster – there’ll be no significant spoilers).

But first of all, I must say all movies are better when you are missing work at the same time (gotta love Texas ice storms!). I could have stayed at home and wasted away the day but instead I wasted away part of the day at the movie theater – and it was a great wasting-away.

So, I loved Children of Men. I don’t know if I would have said that as I left the theater, but I am saying it now. I definitely would have said I liked it a lot but since watching it my appreciation for the movie has grown, as the images from the movie have seeped more deeply into my mind and spirit.

I think the movie poster pretty much gives you the overall idea – the movie is set in the future, 2027 I think, at a time when all women are infertile and the world is going to hell, fast. The story centers around a woman who is “miraculously” pregnant and the man trying to help bring her to safety in the midst of a quickly deteriorating world. I’m no film expert (by any stretch of the imagination) but the movie is written, filmed, and acted in a truly beautiful and startling manner. The images and themes of the movie really touched me – in a way that is very rare for me regarding movies. There is a scene (captured in the picture here) when the two main characters are walking through the midst of a war-zone and all the soldiers simply stop and gaze in awe at the signs of a new life. None of these men have seen this in something like 18 years. They are looking at the hope of the world.
I was really affected by this beautifully written and filmed scene – you just have to see it. It clearly reminded me of the hope and awesome miracle of a baby. There are obviously parallels between this story and the birth of Jesus (this movie even released on Christmas Day) but I was more struck by the simple reminder of the beauty and hope found in new life.

Go see this movie. It is not an easy happy movie but I think it is a great picture of hope incarnate in new life. It will leave you with great images in your mind – images I am surely going to return to for a long time.

(Needless to say, all of this certainly relates to what Brooke and I have been going through)

Doing the Best I Can

This life we live, it’s hard. It just is. I’m not complaining. I’m just calling it as I see it. And I’m not just referring to suffering and pain. Rather, I mean life’s just not simple – it’s complex. Sometimes right and wrong are very hard to distinguish. Sometimes you mean well and end up realizing you made a mistake. It’s not easy to live right – to pursue the good, the true, and the beautiful. To love God. To follow Jesus. To serve my neighbor. However you want to say it, it’s tough. It’s not simple. Things are often very unclear.

So what I am getting at?

My point is actually that I feel a great sense of relief in the midst of all of this by saying, “I’m doing the best I can.” And I don’t mean that in a strict legalistic sense – sure, sometimes I could probably try even harder, etc, but I think you get the point. My intentions are generally honest – in the big picture, I want to pursue what is right. I want to choose the best course – the course for the greatest good.

It’s only in the past year or so that I have allowed myself to say, “I’m doing the best I can.” Before then I usually attempted to take the ‘spiritual high road’ by trying to abandon myself to God or something. Now don’t get me wrong – this is not a bad thing. It’s a very good thing I think. But in some ways it’s another difficult thing to add to the list – another burden to carry. The problem was, I found that it’s not always easy to completely “abandon myself to God” – I can only be honest and do my very best, however that might look.

I think this is very freeing. I think any God worth believing in, worth serving, would never ask for anything more. Can any of us ask for anything more of anyone else? Surely God doesn’t. This frees us all – Christian, non-Christian, one who is seeking, one who is running away – to simply pursue the Good, to pursue God, as best as we can, however that looks for us in our current place in life.

The burden is lifted. I can go on. I can continue.

Perhaps this is what it really means to abandon myself to God? I think maybe so.

Reading Christianity for the Rest of Us

Well, the new year of reading is off to a fast start. I am already on book #5! (how is that possible?) I am planning to start an online Reading Log for 2007 in which I can trace all the books I read for the year…you should notice it on the sidebar some time soon…hopefully…

Anyways, I just finished reading Christianity for the Rest of Us: How the Neighborhood Church is Transforming the Faith, by Diana Butler Bass. In a lot of ways this is a strange book for me to have read – however, I really enjoyed it. I actually checked it out of the library but half-way through I knew I needed to own it. So although I have already finished reading the book, Amazon is shipping it to me as we speak (I know, I’m strange).

Christianity for the Rest of Us is the result of a three year study of emerging mainline churches in the United States. If you are like me, then you probably need “mainline” defined for you. Mainline churches are the “brand-name” churches you see across the country – Methodists, Presbyterians, Lutherans, Congregationalists, and Episcopalians. These churches are often more liberal and progressive than their evangelical counterparts (although they may not like these labels). These churches have also been perceived (with some reality behind the perception) to be declining while more conservative and evangelical churches have been growing. The purpose of Bass’ study was to visit and explore growing and vital moderate-to-liberal mainline churches. The study included 50 participating congregations but focused on ten.

These churches are filled with people who do not fit into the new evangelical Christian majority in the United States. They are desiring to know God and follow Jesus in our world but are not interested in embracing the evangelical culture of political and religious conservatism and/or fundamentalism. On the other hand, these churches are also not interested in the largely secular religion indicative of many declining mainline churches. For the most part, these churches include a diverse group of people from all ideologies and backgrounds – including some conservatives.

So, like I said earlier, this is a strange book for me to read. I am not part of a mainline church (or any institutional church for that matter). I have never even attended a mainline church. I know very few people who attend mainline churches. And I grew up in very conservative evangelical churches, in which mainline churches were largely discredited. Yet it is because of all of these statements that I felt the need and desire to read this book. I wanted to see what God is doing in an area I am very unfamiliar with. And in short, I was very excited about what I read – God is certainly doing a lot.

Throughout reading this book, I was struck by how well it complements Gibbs’ and Bolger’s Emerging Churches (read some of my comments on this book here). Whereas Emerging Churches focuses on a new breed of churches that have largely come out of the evangelical movement, Christianity for the Rest of Us looks at a new type of church coming from the old mainline of Christianity. What is so interesting is that these stories overlap in so many ways! Emerging Churches deals with a reaction against the sometimes dead religion that results from fundamental evangelicalism and Christianity for the Rest of Us looks at how churches are emerging from the liberal secularism found in some mainline religion. However, both of these “emerging churches” are heading in the same direction. They are both looking to follow Jesus without the trappings of the liberal/conservative divide, apart from the modern focus on reasoned certainty or skepticism, and in a way that is relevant to a new post-Christian culture. Many of the findings of these books are very similar. They even identify some very similar traits in the churches they studied. Emerging Churches found churches encompassing nine “practices”: (1) identify with the life of Jesus, (2) transform the secular realm, (3) live highly communal lives, (4) welcome the stranger, (5) serve with generosity, (6) participate as producers, (7) create as created beings, (8) lead as a body, and (9) take part in spiritual activities. In a very similar way, Christianity for the Rest of Us discussed “ten signposts of renewal”: (1) hospitality, (2) discernment, (3) healing, (4) contemplation, (5) testimony, (6) diversity, (7), justice, (8) worship, (9) reflection, and (10) beauty. The similarities are unmistakable! Is this really one movement of Christians that is being observed? Just in different environments and from different backgrounds? At least in some ways, I think so.

I’m sorry for this long post, I’m sure only a few of you made it this far. The fact is, I just find this very intriguing and encouraging. God is working in a lot of different places. This is good news. God is not confined to any particular “movement” or perspective. He is busy using people to transform others and to influence the world. All are welcome to play a part.

What does this mean about my blog?

This blog is the number six result on Yahoo! for someone searching for "i don't love god" (someone got to my blog this way yesterday).

What exactly does this say about me and my blog?

For some reason I think it's a good thing.

Bono the Prophet: Implications for the Church

A rock star, a tobacco farmer, and a self-described atheist – besides not attending church, what do they have in common?

According to Eugene Peterson (see my previous blog entry), what they have in common is that each one serves as a prophet to the Church. Peterson says these prophets may be “outside the church” but “that doesn’t mean they are outside of Christ.” In fact he agrees that “a prophet loses something if he or she were to become ‘churchified’ in some way.”

Setting aside Bono himself, I am most interested in the implications of Peterson’s comments for the Church.

Would God use someone outside the Church as a prophet?

Wouldn’t such a person be “outside of Christ?”

I know this has been a theme for me of late (see here and here), but I really do think all of this points to a larger view of the Church. A Church without walls. A Church where there is no longer such a clearly delineated ‘in’ and ‘out.’ In actuality, I think Peterson is saying these individuals are part of the larger Church. I think he is implying that the Church is bigger than we realize – and much bigger than the clearly visible and institutionalized version. Something about this really resonates with me.

I particularly appreciate this because Peterson, as he says in the interview, has been a part of the institutional church all his life. He certainly is not condemning the institutional or more visible church. He is simply looking at Church from a much larger perspective – a perspective that includes people who may be shunned by many in the church, others who may at times appear contrary to the Church, and even some who specifically deny relationship with Church/God/Jesus.

Sounds kind of revolutionary – and I like it.

(by the way, check out the interesting comments on the previous post)

Bono the Prophet?

I read an article this morning that really has me thinking. The article is an interview with Eugene Peterson (translator of the The Message) focused on what he thinks about Bono, U2, and their relationship to/with the Church and Christianity. While the article is focused on Bono, my primary interest is how these thoughts relate to the way we view the Church.

Here are a few interesting comments from the article:

Peterson: I was a little offended, to tell you the truth, in the Christianity Today article on Bono there was an editorial and they complained that he didn't go to church! ["Bono's Thin Ecclesiology," March, 2003]

Interviewer: Yes, I remember that piece.

Peterson: And I thought, "Oh, c'mon now. That's not what prophets do." Sometimes they sneak in, but they get out so they won't be recognized. I guess one of the prophetic voices that I think is very strong and has meant a lot to me is Wendell Berry. But as far as I know he doesn't go to church either.

Interviewer: Do you think a prophet loses something if he or she were to become "churchified" in some way?

Petterson: Yes, I think so. I guess he'd lose the edge of surprise. I've been a part of the institution of religion all my life and have been quite happy doing it. I felt that's what I was called to do. But I depend for a lot of my insights and language on people who are outside the Church. That doesn't mean they are outside of Christ, but they are outside of the conventional expectations. I need that. If I'm just around people who talk the way I do, I lose perceptive accuracy, sharpness. And I think Bono is doing that for many.

A little later in the interview:

Interviewer: Can you explain how the prophet may be connected to Christ while at the same time be outside the Church?

Peterson: Um...that's a complex question!

Interviewer: Well, I'm interested because Christians often are trained to think that life outside of the church is a life of drifting away, of going away from Christ.

Peterson: Prophets don't have anything that Christ hasn't given them. Some of them find a vocation that is apart from the visible Church, maybe by accident or maybe deliberately or maybe not intentionally. But they are following the Spirit in some unarticulated way.

Sometimes I think God has to find a person who isn't carrying a lot of baggage or bad religion with them. John the Baptist, for example, where did he come from? He didn't fit the categories of the first century. And that happens over and over and over again. Simone Weil, the French woman who sometimes called herself an atheist, was a very prophetic voice in a time when prophetic voices were very rare in France.

These people come up here and there, and also in the Church -- there are plenty of strong, clear voices in the Church. But I think we are always a little surprised, those of us who make our home in the Church. We say, "Oh! Here's somebody. I wish I had thought of that. I wish I could say it that way." But they are getting the ear of people who wouldn't listen to us or wouldn't come to our churches.

I hope you read the whole interview - you will find it here.

This interview makes me want to read Eugene Peterson. I really enjoy The Message but have never read any of his other works. Do any of you have Eugene Peterson recommendations? Any thoughts about the interview?

More of my thoughts to come… (read them in Part 2)

(Thanks to Prodigal Kiwis Blog for making me aware of this article.)

Jesus the Teacher

Last night I read the Sermon on the Mount in Matthew. A couple passages really stuck out to me:

First is Matthew 5:43-48 (The Message):

"You're familiar with the old written law, 'Love your friend,' and its unwritten companion, 'Hate your enemy.' I'm challenging that. I'm telling you to love your enemies. Let them bring out the best in you, not the worst. When someone gives you a hard time, respond with the energies of prayer, for then you are working out of your true selves, your God-created selves. This is what God does. He gives his best—the sun to warm and the rain to nourish—to everyone, regardless: the good and bad, the nice and nasty. If all you do is love the lovable, do you expect a bonus? Anybody can do that. If you simply say hello to those who greet you, do you expect a medal? Any run-of-the-mill sinner does that.

"In a word, what I'm saying is, Grow up. You're kingdom subjects. Now live like it. Live out your God-created identity. Live generously and graciously toward others, the way God lives toward you."

I am always really challenged by this idea of loving my enemies. Reading it this time, I was particularly struck by the reasoning. I don’t think I had noticed before that we are to love our enemies (at least on one level) because God does. God “gives his best…to everyone, regardless: the good and bad, the nice and nasty.” I really like that language – it strikes me as significant. On one level I am challenged to live this out in my own life (something I don’t do a very good job of). On another level I am encouraged that God loves and “gives his best” (I love that way of thinking of it) for everyone – “the good and bad.”

I was also really convicted by Matthew 7:24-27 (TNIV). This is how Jesus concludes his teaching:

"Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock. But everyone who hears these words of mine and does not put them into practice is like a foolish man who built his house on sand. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell with a great crash."

The whole point is to put these teachings into practice. If we do not put them into practice, they don’t do anything for us, or anyone. The point is to obey. I need that reminder.

Check out Mark’s similar post – turns out he’s thinking about some of this too.

Looking Forward and Looking Back

2006 is behind us. I am so relieved to be able to say those words. 2006 was a difficult year. Certainly the most difficult of my nearly twenty-seven. There were times when I really did not know how we were going to make it through.

When I look back at 2006 the image that first comes to mind is of Brooke and me laying in her hospital bed together, holding each other and crying, having just lost our first born son, Zach. As excruciating as the moment was, I don’t want to forget it. It was also precious. A level of intimacy I had never before experienced with someone.

A more recent image is from yesterday, the last day of 2006. The image is of Brooke, nineteen weeks pregnant, laughing until she cried, unable to stop. Laughing as she had not laughed in a long time.

It is with both images in mind that I look forward to 2007. I look forward with hope. Hope for a better year. Hope for a healthy baby girl. Hope for a new level of intimacy as we begin to raise a child together. Hope that God will remember us.

As I look forward with hope, I see a new image in my mind of Brooke and me holding our baby girl, smiling and thankful. Thankful that the morning did in fact come.

Please pray hope for us. Pray for the morning to come in 2007. Pray with us for new life and newfound joy.

Blessings to each of you as we enter 2007. May you have a hopeful vision of the year to come.

Favorite Books of 2006

I read more books in 2006 than ever before in my life (this includes when I was in college). I don’t really know why that happened – I just couldn’t get enough. I don’t imagine I will read so many every year. In large part, the books I read were really good. Here are a ‘few’ of my favorites (in no particular order):

Philip Yancey – I discovered Philip Yancey this year and thoroughly enjoyed reading Disappointment with God, The Jesus I Never Knew, and What’s So Amazing About Grace? I particularly enjoyed the first two. Yancey comes from a little different viewpoint than me, but I really appreciate his openness, willingness to question, and the wide variety of perspectives he draws from. I’m sure I will be reading these books, and others by Yancey, many times over.

Brian McLaren – I read three Brian McLaren books for the first time this year: The Story We Find Ourselves In, The Last Word and the Word After That, and The Secret Message of Jesus (I read this one twice). I will read anything and everything he puts out. His works challenge me while being very readable. I appreciate that McLaren writes for a wide audience. I’m ready for more. (a related post)

Frederick Buechner – Four little books by Buechner may have been my favorites of the year. I don’t know why exactly but these books really touched me. I love this man. I can see myself reading these four personal memoirs over and over again: The Sacred Journey, Now and Then, Telling Secrets, and The Eyes of the Heart. Just thinking about these books makes me want to read them again!

George MacDonald – I did not make a lot of progress this year in my quest to eventually read all of George MacDonald’s books. In fact, I only read one new George MacDonald book this year – but it was a great one. There And Back is one of the best George MacDonald novels I have read. It rates up there with Thomas Wingfold, Robert Falconer, and Annals of a Quiet Neighborhood. I am also currently reading (and plan to finish before the new year), a new-to-me biography of George Macdonald, George MacDonald: A Biography of Scotland’s Beloved Storyteller (Michael Phillips). I am loving it. (a related post)

The Story of Christian Theology (Roger Olson) – I love church history and the history of Christianity. This survey laid it out in a more readable, intriguing, and beneficial way than any I have read before.

Divine Nobodies (Jim Palmer) – You’ve already heard my thoughts on this one (1, 2, 3, 4). I highly recommend it.

Emerging Churches (Eddie Gibbs and Ryan Bolger) – You’ve heard about this one as well (here). It really brought me some new hope for the larger church and still leaves me very encouraged.

A few others – A leadership book, The Contrarian’s Guide to Leadership (Steven Sample); a history book, Paul Revere’s Ride (David Hackett Fischer); and a book I don’t know the category for, The Tipping Point (Malcolm Gladwell). I had forgotten about Paul Revere’s Ride – what a wonderful book! Perhaps the most purely enjoyable read of the year.

Well, there you have it – my favorite books of the year.

Do you have any favorites for 2006?

A Few Things I Got For Christmas

I'm reading this (above) already and thoroughly enjoying it. I just can't get enough George MacDonald. This is the third biography of him I have read. They are each good in different ways.

I'll be reading this one soon.

Bocce! Brooke gave me this and I love it! Now I just need to get rid of the six million leaves in our yard...I'm working on it...

Ok, Santa actually forgot about this one. Does he ever come late? Oh well...maybe next year...

Merry Christmas!

Making fun of this picture is not allowed. Believe me, I was really just saying "Merry Christmas!" I'm not doing some strange chant or something...I hope you all have a great Christmas!

O Holy Night

O holy night, the stars are brightly shining;
It is the night of the dear Savior’s birth!
Long lay the world in sin and error pining,
Till He appeared and the soul felt its worth.
A thrill of hope, the weary soul rejoices,
For yonder breaks a new and glorious morn.

Fall on your knees, O hear the angel voices!
O night divine, O night when Christ was born!
O night, O holy night, O night divine!

Led by the light of faith serenely beaming,
With glowing hearts by His cradle we stand.
So led by light of a star sweetly gleaming,
Here came the wise men from Orient land.
The King of kings lay thus in lowly manger,
In all our trials born to be our friend!

Fall on your knees, O hear the angel voices!
O night divine, O night when Christ was born!
O night, O holy night, O night divine!

Truly He taught us to love one another;
His law is love and His Gospel is peace.
Chains shall He break for the slave is our brother
And in His Name all oppression shall cease.
Sweet hymns of joy in grateful chorus raise we,
Let all within us praise His holy Name!

Fall on your knees, O hear the angel voices!
O night divine, O night when Christ was born!
O night, O holy night, O night divine!

Merry Christmas from Adam! Only 1 day till Christmas!

Little Town

O little town of Bethlehem
How still we see thee lie
Above thy dark and dreamless sleep
The silent stars go by

Yet in thy dark streets shineth
The everlasting light
The hopes and fears of all the years
Are met in thee tonight

The lamplit streets of Bethlehem
We walk now through the night
There is no peace in Bethlehem
There is no peace in sight

The wounds of generations
Almost too deep to heal
Scar the timeworn miracle
And make it seem surreal

The baby in the manger
Grew to a man one day
And still we try to listen now
To what he had to say

Put up your swords forever
Forgive your enemies
Love your neighbor as yourself
Let your little children come to me

(Over the Rhine)

Merry Christmas from Adam! Only 2 days till Christmas!

The Friendly Beasts

Jesus our brother, strong and good,
Was humbly born in a stable rude,
And the friendly beasts around him stood,
Jesus our brother, strong and good

I, said the donkey, shaggy and brown,
I carried his mother uphill and down,
I carried his mother to Bethlehem town;
I, said the donkey, shaggy and brown

I, said the cow, all white and red,
I gave him my manger for his bed,
I gave him some hay to pillow his head;
I, said the cow, all white and red

I, said the sheep, with curly horn,
I gave him my wool, for his blanket warm,
He wore my coat on Christmas morn;
I, said the sheep with curly horn

I, said the dove, from rafters high,
I cooed him to sleep that he should not cry.
We cooed him to sleep, my mate and I:
I, said the dove, from rafters high

Thus all the beasts, by some good spell,
In the stable were glad to tell
Of the gifts they gave Emmanuel,
Of the gifts they gave Emmanuel

(Words: Anonymous; Music: Traditional 12th Century French Carol)

Merry Christmas from Adam! Only 3 days till Christmas!

Put the Lights on the Tree

Put the lights on the tree
(Put them on the tree. Put them on the tree.)
Put the ribbon on the wreath
(Put it on the wreath. Put it on the wreath.)

Call your grandma on the phone
(Call her on the phone.
Call her on the phone.)
If she's living all alone.
(If she's living all alone.
If she's living all alone.)

Tell her Jesus Christ is here
(Tell her Jesus Christ is here. Tell her He is here.
Tell her He is here.)
Tell her there is none to fear
(There is none to fear. There is none to fear.)
If she's crying on the phone
(Crying on the phone. Crying on the phone.)
Tell her you are coming home
(You are coming home.
You are coming home.)

(Santa Sufjan, Songs for Christmas)

Merry Christmas from Adam! Only 4 days till Christmas!

Technorati Tags: Merry Christmas!, Sufjan Stevens

Come On! Let's Boogey to the Elf Dance!

Tie up your boots! Jump off the ladder!
Pack up your clothes! Nothing's the matter!
Mistletoe hangs up in the bedroom!
Your sister's bangs, she cut them herself!
Santa is here! Sleigh bells are ringing!
Twenty-one elves! They are all singing!
Kmart is closed! So is the bakery!
Everyone's home watching TV!
Santa Claus is coming!
Hear the banjo strumming!

Chestnuts and fire, holly and hay!
Jesus and Mary! What a great day!
Evergreen tree covered in snow!
Tower of Babel! Tower of gold!
There's Aunt Marie and Uncle Bob!
They give us good gifts,
Like mittens and socks!
Hijack a snow plow! Clear out the streets!
Tell all the neighbors there's cookies to eat!

Get up off the floor and give a shout!
There's a lot to shout about!
Santa Claus is coming to town!
He's got the greatest gifts around!
Stanta Claus is coming!
Hear the banjo strumming!

(Santa Sufjan, Songs for Christmas)

Merry Christmas from Adam! Only 5 days till Christmas!

Technorati Tags: Merry Christmas!, Sufjan Stevens

Women in the Church

I found these comments from Scot McKnight, regarding women in the church, to be very clear and helpful:

"Very few would say the Bible teaches absolute equality of women and men in ministry, but instead most would say the Bible establishes the precedent, forms the foundation, and creates a redemptive trend that — over time — creates an equal opportunity for women in ministry."

Read the rest here. It only takes two minutes to read and is well worth it. McKnight's comments are in response to a book he is going to discuss.

Regarding this topic, I was also influenced by Frank Viola's essay, "Now Concerning a Woman's Role in the Church." Viola basically argues that we should interpret the New Testament "limiting passages" in light of the overall tone found in the New Testament regarding women (a very high and radical view for the time). You can read Viola's article here (it is the last chapter of the book, which is available for free online).

(Update: you should also check out Mark's related post)

Technorati Tags: Women in the Church, Scot McKnight, Frank Viola

Expanding my view of church, Part 2 of 2

If you haven’t already, check out part 1 and contribute to the great discussion going on there. I am working through some ways my ideas about church are stretching and changing. In particular, these are things I have been thinking about since reading Divine Nobodies (Jim Palmer) and Emerging Churches (Eddie Gibbs & Ryan Bolger). Please feel free to contribute your thoughts on both posts. I’d really love to learn from you.

Church includes, and is for, everyone. I have already blogged plenty about my belief that each person is valuable and has something to offer (whether the person is a Christian or not). As a result, I think church can happen in my interaction with any person. God can be present, God is present. God can make himself known. In addition, as a carrier of the “good infection” (as C.S. Lewis called it), I want to join the church’s mission to expose others to the Life of Jesus. I’m not talking about evangelism (this has become a truly horrible word and practice), but rather, going out of my way to include others in my circle of connection. To include others in my church. This happens by making friends, serving others, feeding the hungry, speaking the good news. We are to be the body of Christ, to be Jesus present in the world. This doesn’t just happen by accident, we are called to “go out,” to get around people we normally would not be around. I agree with Brian McLaren who says, “a lot of us would become a lot better Christians if we spent less time at church” and more time at “recitals, soccer games, movies, festivals, parties, [and] concerts” (from More Ready Than You Realize). We might have more fun too...

There is no “in” or “out.” If church includes, and is for, everyone, then there is no longer a distinction between those who are “in” and those who are “out.” Everyone is in, everyone is welcome and completely worthy of inclusion (as worthy as you and me). The friends in my life, no matter who or where, are not just part of some exterior, less important world, but a part of my church-life – included without any provisions. I don’t mean I just offer them admission to my church meeting or group – that misses the point. Rather, I simply understand they are a significant part of the connections God has made in my life - as significant as any other. And I realize that God can be revealed and church can happen with those people, as Christ is present. These others are not separated in any way from the relationships I have with people in my Christian community - there is no distinction.

The importance of a strong center. Ok, I’m sure many of you have been reading this and wondering how this all holds together (I hope you’ve been wondering that). Am I saying that everyone has friends and those people are his or her church and we should not worry about fellowship in a close community of commitment? I’m not saying that at all. In fact, I think to go in that direction is a problem. I think to be genuinely connected as a member of the church, I must have a strong connection and commitment to some “center” – some number of people who I can depend on, and who depend on me. People who are really involved in my life and who are coming to know me for who I really am. People I share my joys and sorrows with. People I am committed to in good times and bad, in agreement and disagreement. These people are essential. However, this can look a lot of different ways. Whereas one person’s center may involve 50 people, another person’s may include one or two others (I am really open to the different possibilities of how this could look). The importance is simply to have one, to be pursuing one, to be in the process of becoming connected and committed to one (it can start small and be very simple).

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Thoughts? Let's continue the conversation on both of these posts.

Technorati Tags: Emerging Church, Bolger and Gibbs, Divine Nobodies, Jim Palmer

Expanding my view of church, Part 1 of 2

If you haven’t read my previous two posts related to Divine Nobodies (Jim Palmer) and Emerging Churches (Eddie Gibbs & Ryan Bolger), then you may want to check out those posts first (1 and 2). This discussion will primarily relate to the implications of those books and some of the thoughts provoked by reading them (building on many things I have been contemplating the past year or more).

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For divine nobodies all of life is church. Or perhaps another way to say this is that all of life takes place within the Kingdom of God. Take your pick of wording – I agree either way.

In a lot of ways, this is not new for me. I have not attended a typical church for nearly five years. And even before officially “leaving,” I experienced about five years of conflicted feelings and dissatisfaction with church. I don’t believe church is solely about “meetings” and I don’t subscribe to any traditional church leadership model. Even so, my view of church is continuing to stretch. Here are a few areas where I have been stretching (in part, because of the help from these two books).

Fuzzy boundaries. Can any of us really talk about “my” or “our” church? Where does one church end and another begin? Perhaps this language works when speaking of a particular meeting but does it apply to a group of people connected together? In some ways I think it does, but in some ways I don’t – I guess that’s why I’m saying the boundaries are “fuzzy.” Much more fuzzy than I ever thought. “Fuzzy” to the extent that I don’t think I should think or talk much about the boundaries. Perhaps a better, more positive way of saying this is that we are all much more connected than we realize. The boundaries are thin, if they exist at all.

Church takes place everywhere. Even during the past five years, while I have been part of a non-traditional church, I have mostly thought of church as something that happens in meetings, during time spent with other people in my church, and generally something that occurs while talking about spiritual matters. I might not have admitted that to you, but I sure lived/live like that. I have also viewed church as something I need to make time for. Example: thinking I should do my best to preserve my evenings and weekends for church activities. I now think this is a wholly incorrect way of viewing church. Church can take place anywhere at any time – at the grocery store, in my neighbor’s front yard, while watching a football game. In particular, I have been thinking about how church can happen in my workplace. Rather than being a distraction from church, I believe the workplace can be a primary location where church happens. All of this tears down the distinctions between church activities and non-church activities. This is a false dichotomy – all of life is church-life, church takes place everywhere.

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Come back Tuesday to read about three more ways my view of church is being stretched.

Please share your thoughts. I am still open to more stretching. We’re all still learning, right?

Technorati Tags: Emerging Church, Bolger and Gibbs, Divine Nobodies, Jim Palmer

The Nature of Church

I am going to put off my second post concerning Divine Nobodies because I want to add a little more to the mix. I have been reading Emerging Churches (Gibbs & Bolger) for the second time and was very intrigued by the following excerpts/quotations. I think these comments add another dimension to what I have been thinking about since reading Divine Nobodies. Anyways, I hope you get a chance to read through this, along with the previous post. Look for my comments about all of this early next week.

“Church for me consists of my twelve friends with whom I spend most of my time… [Many of the groups in our larger church] are hidden because they have no official meeting. They simply function as communities. They meet often but at no particular time. They are not organized but rather completely decentralized” (quotation from Joe Boyd, p. 103).

“Church happens whenever two or three come together. The church is not a particular time or place but the connections that happen when followers of Christ come together” (p. 103).

“My pagan friends are church for me as well. While with them, I spend time with Jesus because he is with me. My community with these Las Vegas actors is just as strong as my Christian community, and I am slowly introducing Jesus to them” (quotation from Joe Boyd, p. 108).

“Inviting people into the kingdom means inviting them to where you are that night. Evangelism is brining your friend to IHOP, because that is where your friends are. In this way people become immersed in the community” (quotation from Joe Boyd, p. 108).

“They include both Christians and non-Christians in the same groups...They do not want to create ‘us’ and ‘them’ distinctions… (p. 109)

“We see the act of the Eucharist as a powerful symbol of what we believe about Christ and the body of Christ. In the breaking of the loaf of bread, what was singular, physical, and fixed in one place is split up, transformed, and taken out into the cities in which we live. Church for us then is perhaps simply a network of the infected. Each time two nodes in this network communicate, church is happening, the body is evolving, and Christ is being formed” (quotation from Kester Brewin, p. 114).

Any initial thoughts? I know this can be controversial stuff, but I really would like to “hear” your thoughts (oh brave ones). My own ideas are still very much in process. However, I do think there is something to all of this and in many ways it is quite encouraging to me.

Technorati Tags: Emerging Church, Bolger and Gibbs, Joe Boyd, Divine Nobodies, Jim Palmer

Reading Divine Nobodies: Shedding Religion to Find God

In concluding his “Real Introduction” (he has a “Pseudo-Introduction” as well), Jim Palmer, author of Divine Nobodies writes:

“I must tell you, I am not a proponent of ‘religion,’ even the ‘Christian’ kind, but have never gone wrong following Jesus. Yes, I know it all sounds absurd. To really understand, you need to step into my shoes and follow your feet” (p. xxv).

Through the next fifteen chapters Palmer describes the significance 'divine nobodies' - normal people like you and me who happen to reveal God – have played in this life. I appreciate the journey explored in this book and I deeply resonate with the central message: God chooses to reveal himself through people, anyone, no matter how seemingly insignificant (a theme I have been interested in for awhile). Oftentimes the “nobodies” Palmer refers to are followers of Jesus who do not fit into the typical Christian church/culture. Instead they live as the church, the expression of God, in the midst of their normal everyday work and life.

While there were a few times I wished Palmer would deviate less from his main theme, overall, this is a book I highly recommend. I hope some of you add this to your Christmas list so we can talk about it together. Here are a few samples I found particularly intriguing. Another entry will be forthcoming in which I will discuss some of the implications of the book that have been floating around my brain this past week.

“These nobodies – Michael, Wanda, Candi, Judy, John, and many others – were now friends I cared about…and who cared about me. The notion began growing inside that perhaps I was ‘called’ – to them. Maybe this way of living is ‘ministry,’ and God ordained these very connections and relationships. Side by side in the ebb and flow of daily living and working, God wanted to bless us through our knowing one another…I felt I had discovered a missing link, experiencing meaningful relationship with God through others amid the wear and tear of real life. It all sounds nice in church on Sundays, but can you really know God and walk in his kingdom waiting tables, cleaning out dressing rooms, and framing houses? Maybe Jesus came as a poor common laborer to supply to all the ordinary of the world the resounding answer, ‘Yes, you can.’ The truth is, if it doesn’t work there, it doesn’t work anywhere” (42-3).

“[Mr. Adams] sees his shop as a spiritual post on the potholed journey of life. Pushing through the front door, little did the single mom know a whole other dimension of reality where Christ is present waited. Working weekends and evenings, she couldn’t attend church services or midweek small groups, but apparently God knows that and uses nobodies like Mr. and Mrs. Adams in divine ways. Maybe we all are only a slipped belt away from the kingdom of God. One day your car blows and suddenly you have Jesus under the hood. To the person driving by, Adams Auto looks like any other mom-and-pop car repair shop. But to that woman, it was an oasis offering care, assistance, rest, mercy, and relationship…Maybe the most convincing invitation to life with God comes from the ordinary Joes” (p. 80-1).

“Just as people met and interacted with the single fleshly manifestation of Jesus two thousand years ago, maybe the indwelling presence of Christ in all believers provides that ability today in vastly greater numbers” (p. 81).

“Maybe under the radar, God has left the fate of the world in the hands of the amateurs and a whole lot of divine nobodies. Didn’t God himself come as a divine nobody? When it was time to save the world, he stepped down from his heavenly throne, picked up a carpenter’s hammer, and went to work. When he chose his team, they were just ordinary people. There’s hope for folks like me after all. For most of my adult life, I have been seeking after God in church. Now I’m starting to understand that I’m already wi-fied into the kingdom of God through the Sprit of Christ living in me” (p. 88).

Any thoughts?

Technorati Tags: Divine Nobodies, Jim Palmer

You Found Me! (whether you like it or not..)

Welcome to a new and possibly recurring segment here on If God is Love.

I am often amused at the Google searches that end up at my site. Here are a few recent examples:

- Uneducated voting - yep, that's me

- Losing faith in god and marriage - hmmm...what exactly does this say about my blog?

- Lovey Smith - I guess I'm not the only one who didn't know how to spell the name of this Chicago Bears coach (it's actually Lovie Smith). There have probably been about ten people who have stumbled upon my blog because of this spelling error.

- Is Adam Moore God? - Ok, maybe no one has actually searched for this. But if they did, they would find my blog as the number one result. Or perhaps someone might search for "If God is Adam Moore." Same result.

Technorati Tags: Google

Get Behind Me, Santa! (It’s Christmas Time)

With the recent passing of Thanksgiving (that kind of makes it sound like Thanksgiving died – I don’t mean it that way), it is now officially permissible to listen to Christmas music. You may not know that I really like good Christmas music - I do. However, be sure to notice I did use the word “good.” Most Christmas music thoroughly sucks. But there’s plenty of good stuff as well. Here are a few of my absolute favorites:

5. December, George Winston


Ok, I don’t know if this really counts as Christmas music…but it does for me. Actually, I think it is a perfect CD to bring out early in the Christmas season (of course this would not apply if you agree with Wal-Mart about when the season begins…). For me this CD is exactly like the title says – it just makes me feel like December. And that’s nice. It's all instrumental piano music. I like it.

4. Living Room Sessions: Christmas, Chris Rice


I’m not usually a Chris Rice fan. In fact, I only like his Living Room Sessions cds. That being said, this CD is great. It’s pretty much all traditional Christmas Sunday morning church favorites. And did I mention it’s also entirely instrumental piano? That’s what I like best about it. You just can’t go wrong.

3. Songs for Christmas, Sufjan Stevens


The only reason this one isn’t ranked higher is because I haven’t even officially listened to the entire set yet. Last year I downloaded the first three editions of his yearly Christmas albums. This year I bought the five cd collection, which just came out. I am listening to it right now – it is fantastic. It may become number two on the list any day now…or even by the time I finish writing this entry. A wonderful mix of quirky originals, favorite traditionals, and forgotten traditionals (at least forgotten by me). [By the way, as I wrote that last sentence Word underlined the entire sentence in green and red. Coincidence? Indication of a misspelling or a fragment? I don’t think so. It’s clearly a sign from God. This cd is great.]

2. A Charlie Brown Christmas, Vince Guaraldi


Who doesn’t love this? Ok, you who just nodded your head. What’s wrong with you? If you don’t own this cd, don’t walk, run to your computer (oh wait, you're probably already at your computer...even better!) and order it for a steal of a deal at Amazon.com (only $4.99). I’ve said enough.

1. The Darkest Night of the Year, Over the Rhine


This cd isn’t just my favorite Christmas cd. It’s one of my favorite cds, period. Listen to it with a good sound system. Listen to it without distractions. Listen to it with loved ones. Listen in quiet contemplation. If you are not moved, I’ll buy the cd from you and give it away to someone else. This album is just beautiful. The only problem with the cd is that I don’t listen to it enough throughout the year (ok, really that’s a problem with me). There is no reason to save this cd for Christmas listening only.

By the way, Over the Rhine is coming out with a new Christmas cd any day. I can’t wait. I know it will not be as good as The Darkest Night of the Year, but that’s ok. I don’t really want it to be better. I might not be able to handle it. You can pre-order the new cd at their website when you buy The Darkest Night of the Year.

Alright, so those are my favorites. How about you?

Technorati Tags: George Winston, Chris Rice, Sufjan Stevens, Charlie Brown Christmas, Over the Rhine, Christmas Music

Multiple Choice Question (be thankful it’s not an essay)

Question: Why haven’t I blogged much recently?

A. Blogging is stupid and I finally figured that out (I’m slow like that)

B. I just haven’t had any brilliant ideas for a new entry (how could that be true?)

C. I’ve been too busy putting up Christmas lights on the outside of our house (I hate that stupid ladder!)

D. I overdosed on Turkey (or was it the pumpkin pie…)

E. I simply couldn’t handle the excitement of the Tomkat wedding (or perhaps it was depression setting in after the Britany/K-Fed news…)

F. None of the above (fill in the blank with your ingenious reason)

Nothing profound, just a few Thanksgiving thoughts

Well, it’s Thanksgiving on Thursday (in case you hadn’t heard) and I’m wondering what that means for me right now…

One thing it means is that I’m off work this week, which is wonderful. Today has a been a beautiful lazy day.

But most of my thoughts are about the past year. I remember last Thanksgiving. I was very thankful. After desiring it for so long Brooke was newly pregnant and we were thrilled. It had actually happened! We were going to have a baby! And we did…but it wasn’t as we expected. This has certainly been the most difficult year of our not-too-long-or-short lives. So how exactly can I be thankful?

In case you don’t read Brooke’s blog, I do want you to know that Brooke is pregnant again. She just entered the 13th week (you can follow the progress here). Of course, we are excited (I think it’s impossible not to be excited). But of course, we are also scared. I don’t know what to think. I want to be hopeful – and I am – but its just scary. Not just for Brooke – for me too. I don’t know how to pray about all of this either (nothing new…). Or at least, I don’t know how to pray aloud about it (perhaps you can pray for me/us?). I actually think most of my thoughts about this are prayers – but its been difficult to pray aloud with Brooke in particular. I guess I just don’t want us to be so disappointed again. We did pray this morning though. I think it was good.

So how can I be thankful this week? It’s kind of hard but I am thankful for some things. I’m thankful for close friends (and really this includes many who are not close friends - just people who stopped and really cared for us). I don’t know how I would have made it without them (you). I have really needed all of them – more than ever before. I can’t see how I would have made it otherwise (actually, I really don’t know how we made it even with them…). Of course, I’m also thankful for this new pregnancy. It is a good thing. It’s a new life growing and that is good. I am grateful. I guess lastly I am very thankful for Brooke. I don’t need to go into that more – I just am.

In thinking through this thankfulness I am reminded of life being good. Even in the midst of a truly terrible year. There is good. There is hope. I believe it – I really do. I have to.

Technorati Tags: Thanksgiving, Pregnancy

Why I didn’t vote yesterday

Yep, you read that right. I didn’t vote yesterday.

I did vote two years ago during the presidential election. The peer pressure was just too strong. I gave in.

This year I felt the pressure as well. I almost gave in again. But this time I stood strong. I didn’t vote and I’m not ashamed.

You might think I didn’t vote due to laziness or perhaps because of the hard news about Britney Spears that came out yesterday. But neither of these explanations is true. The real reason is my conscience would not allow me to vote.

I realize our political system will never be perfect. I realize there is perhaps no better political system out there. And I know democracy has proven to be a pretty successful form of government in America. I recognize all of this.

But I still hate the way the system plays out for electing our officials. I’m sure you can guess the reasons for my displeasure - political parties, campaigning, advertisements, immorality, corruption, and a general lack of good candidates. I know I’m not the only one who complains about these problems. However, most people complain and then go and support the system. They complain all the way to the ballot box. What good does this do? Especially when most of these voters are completely uninformed. Some just vote straight ticket because that’s how they’ve grown up or that’s how everyone they know is voting. What good does this do? Does uneducated voting really help? I don’t think so.

So what about the other option? Some people genuinely try to be educated about the candidates and then vote for who they believe will be the best candidate (often choosing the lesser of two perceived evils). I think this is commendable. In fact, after reading Dear Mr. Suprercomputer I almost decided to vote. Geoff’s reasoning is solid and I completely appreciate his perspective. We need more voters like him. But in the end, I just couldn’t do it. There are no candidates I feel strongly about and I think the election and campaigning system is ineffective and at times corrupt. I will not support it. Instead I will cast my vote as a non-participator. I will do my part in lowering the voter turnout numbers and hope someone takes notice.

Is this the best answer? I don’t know. It’s just how I feel compelled to act at this point. I certainly believe there are other respectable options as well. If you genuinely considered the candidates and voted in an educated manner, then I commend you. However, if you voted in ignorance just because voting is what you’re supposed to do, or didn’t vote because you’re a lazy bum, then I challenge you to at least think about the matter next time. I hope we can at least agree on this.

What do you think?

A couple worthwhile reads:
- Dear Mr. Supercomputer - another good perspective (you'll probably like it better than mine).
- "We are all wrong and probably stupid" - an interesting article from The Economist blog (with a link to another interesting article).

Technorati Tags: Voting, Election

BREAKING NEWS!!!

I was just notified of news so big, and so important, that I just had to end my two week blogging vacation:

It's over for Britney Spears and Kevin Federline.

I'm sorry to be the one to break it to you.

"CNN has confirmed that the pop singer, known for hits such as 'Oops ... I Did It Again' and 'Toxic,' is divorcing her husband of two years and one month."


In other news, today is election day. More to come...

Technorati Tags: Britney Spears

Welcome to Texas

This is my very good friend, Marco. He is our newest house guest and has just moved to Texas from California. We've been friends since 4th grade in Mrs. Hensley's class (did anyone have Mrs. Hensley for 4th grade? - she was the best). In a couple weeks Marco is moving into an apartment in Austin.

Can everyone say hello to Marco? He is very excited to be a new Texan. Can't you tell?

Raise your hand if you live in Austin. Will you be Marco's friend? Do you have a job for Marco?

Do you have a ticket to the Baylor v. Texas A&M game for Marco? Ok, I guess I'm getting off topic...

Real stories, real pathetic

I think this might be a recurring post. I am truly startled (and disturbed) almost every day when I see the ridiculous news stories being reported by our fine free press. Here's a sample just from this morning (all of these were front page headlines):

- Dog saves owner from fire, dies trying to help cat (CNN link)

- Mom guilty of neglecting teen's botched piercing (CNN link)

- Chris Rock's Mom May Sue Cracker Barrel (ABC link)

- Madonna defends child adoption (BBC link)

And last but certainly not least...

- Scoop: Is Hilton's partying too hard on Richie? (MSNBC link)

Technorati Tags: News Media, Free Press

Blogging Friends

You may notice I have narrowed down my list of "blogging friends." This is certainly not because any of you are no longer my friend. However, to be a "blogging friend" you must meet two conditions: 1. you must be my friend, and 2. you must actually blog. Just having a blog does not satisfy condition number two.

Now, please don't get me wrong. I have no problem if you do not want to blog - that's perfectly ok. Blogging is not for everyone and I do not think any less of you.

Just wanted to clear up any potential confusion.

List of Fun and Games

Alright, go ahead and say it. I know you want to.

“Adam, you blog way too many lists of articles for us to read.”

Ok, you might be right. Let me clarify my intentions. I like surfing the internet and finding interesting articles, etc. I also frequent a number of sites that help me find these other sites. I don’t always thoroughly read these articles. Some of them I do – some of them I just scan and think they look interesting. I post them on my blog because I believe all of you are highly intelligent people who desire excellent information. That is what I try to bring you – excellent information, interesting articles, and stuff you might like to know about.

So, please don’t feel obligated to read every article I mention every week (ok, maybe no one was doing that to begin with...). Just read what looks interesting to you. Hopefully I can point out some articles you might enjoy and might even want to discuss on here. So there it is – that’s why I do this. Now on to my latest list of fun and games.

1. The latest article you should read from Real Live Preacher: A Religion of Denial. Really good, really intense. I think you might like it. Has anyone experienced what he is talking about?

2. Great article about Sunday School teacher, Stephen Colbert. If you don’t know who Stephen Colbert is, then you probably don’t want to read this. I don’t watch his show (I don’t have cable) but I like what I have seen of him. This article might be a good prelude to my upcoming entry related to voting, and how much I despise it.

3. The Atheist Diaries – a good article from Christianity Today. Interesting experiment of sorts.

4. Last but not least, for all of you who love Bono and Oprah (one name wonders), this article is for you. I may blog about it more later. I think Bono is a very smart person. He really knows how to use his influence better than anyone. And fortunately, he uses it in very positive ways (Happy Red Day anyone?).

Technorati Tags: Real Live Preacher, Stephen Colbert, Bono, Oprah

A church that's not a church

Last week I wrote some about the irrelevant church and the growing number of post-Christians all around us. After reading my post, Mary certainly topped my post with a great follow-up on her blog. If you haven’t read it yet, you should go do that now…

Anyways, I would have liked a little more conversation about the topic…there were some great comments between my blog and Mary’s, but I was hoping for a little more. I guess this isn’t a very popular topic among you, my most-excellent readers (all six of you). So of course, in response, I am going to blog even more about this topic. Sorry. Perhaps there is something here worth “talking” about…?

My plan is to address the six points Mary ended with in her blog post. Her points made me excited and I think they are very worthy of further discussion (even if I am the only one discussing…). In addition, I am going to blog as I re-read Emerging Churches. I already read the book while I was at DFW airport for 10 hours a couple weeks ago, but I think it is worth a second read (and this time I am reading it along with others). The book was really encouraging to me – a lot of good stories of how and where church is happening in new ways. But that will come later this week (or perhaps next week). For now I will kick off my response to Mary’s post. So, without any further ado, here is Mary’s Point Number One:

“1. Churches being gatherings of people (because "church" does NOT mean a building, or any kind of service or event) where all the things about God are open season--things we believe, things we think may be true, things we question, things we doubt, fears we have, joys we have, anger we have, etc. I also DO NOT think these things have to be the exclusive topics of conversation at such gatherings.”

I think the idea of “churches being gatherings of people” is a good place to start. I agree with Mary’s assessment that church does not mean a building or necessarily a service, event, etc. Church isn’t just something you go to – we can probably all agree on this – even though common practice doesn’t really coincide with this idea. However, Mary’s second idea is what I am particularly interested in. I would interpret Mary’s presentation of church here as a safe place (or community) where all topics concerning God, spirituality, Jesus, etc, are welcomed, while also not being the only allowable topics of conversation. I see this as a place of openness, freedom, grace, acceptance, and perhaps most importantly, a place where everyone is valued. This also seems to be a place where we don’t have to worry so much about getting it right. Getting it right is not the point. The point is being together, the point is caring about each other, being open to each others comments, and valuing what each one brings to the table – whether the person is a Christian or not.

But is this really a church I’m talking about? What about singing and worship? Can singing and worship really occur in a place where people are truly seeking, expressing doubt, and expressing fears and anger? What about prayer? What about encouraging one another, studying the scripture, and holding one another accountable? Maybe these things will occur - or eventually occur. It will probably depend on the group of people. I do think these things are important and are certainly a part of church. But maybe this isn’t really a “church” per se. Maybe it’s more of a place where “church” might happen. A place where God can show up. A place where people can care about each other. Maybe that is actually more “church” than any other idea of “church” we have experienced. Maybe I’m just way off track…I don’t know…but I think these places, whether we call them “churches” or something else, could be valuable. I think Jesus might be a supporter of such places.

Technorati Tags: Church, Christianity, Emerging Church

Sunday Morning Notices

I learned yesterday that in technical writing you should use a numbered list (as opposed to a bulleted list) only when the order of the list matters. Sure, on some levels this might make sense. But do you think whoever came up with this rule ever thought of the fun-factor? A numbered list is just so much more fun. And this sure ain't technical writing, so numbered list, here we come!

1. I have to read Thomas Merton. Can anyone recommend a good starting point for reading his work? I just love this quote I found posted over at NextReformation.

"MY LORD GOD, I have no idea where I am going. I do not see the road ahead of me. I cannot know for certain where it will end. Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so. But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you. And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing. I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire. And I know that if I do this you will lead me by the right road though I may know nothing about it. Therefore I will trust you always though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death. I will not fear, for you are ever with me, and you will never leave me to face my perils alone."

This expresses a lot about my understanding of following Jesus.

2. I really appreciated this post from Alan Creech about "what it means to be a Christian" and "our goal" as Christians. This sums up some of my foundational beliefs as well. Of course there are many practical implications of this that clearly change the way we live but ultimately I really agree with this perspective.

3. I think there is something significant in Andy Whitman's thoughts concerning our search for utopia. Thanks goes to Looking Closer for pointing this out.

4. Another interesting article about the "emerging church." This is about Jacob's Well, a church in Kansas City, and is from The Christian Century.

5. More great deals on DVDs (even better than last time). I just ordered all your b-day and Christmas gifts for the next two years.

6. What to look forward to (or not): I think I will be writing some about Mary's post this week some time. I also have been thinking about how much I hate voting (thanks to GK and a separate conversation at lunch yesterday), so I'll probably write about that at some point. Any other suggestions for future posts? Don't take that to mean I'm running out of brilliant ideas though - that would never happen...I have brilliant ideas coming out the wazoo...

Technorati Tags: Thomas Merton, Emerging Church, Jacob's Well

God, Tsunamis, and Faith

Not much discussion concerning the previous quote – I guess everyone agrees? I know people read it…or at least saw it.

I don’t know if I completely agree. I haven’t read the book and I don’t think I am going to. But I do agree with the overall tone of the quote – I no longer accept either of the views of God expressed in the quote. The first being, God allowed the tsunami for a greater purpose, and two, God used the tsunami to punish people. Some time ago I would have responded to an event like the tsunami in much the same way as the first position - God allows bad things to happen for a greater purpose. In a way this might be true but I no longer desire to speak in this manner. I think it communicates the wrong idea of God. Instead, my response to the tsunami would be something like this:

I believe God suffers with the suffering of his Creation. God never intended or desired evil, tragedy, or pain – no matter the potential gain. God does not work this way. He does not author evil, he does not allow it in order to bring greater good. Rather, we live in a messed up world (I agree with a friend who called it an f’d up world – but my Mom doesn’t allow me to say that word). You might call it a fallen world, a world full of sinful men and women – whatever you call it, it’s truly a messed up world. God did not intend this and I have to believe that he suffers with this world (a truly incomprehensible statement really). However, because of Jesus, I have hope that God is in fact working in and through all of this suffering, pain, and evil. He is not far removed. Rather, he is right in the midst of it all, working in it all, and hurting in it all. This is our hope – that in all things God is working to redeem, to make right, to bring good from evil. But this was not the way it was supposed to be. God hurts as we hurt. He suffers as we suffer.

This is where I am right now. It’s still not a fully acceptable “explanation.” And it doesn't explain why God created with a possibility of evil (whole other discussion). I don’t know why tsunamis wipe out entire villages of people (or maybe even worse – half of a village). I don’t know. I don’t understand. But I am hopeful. I believe in a God of Love. I believe this God was/is expressed in Jesus.

"O Jerusalem, Jerusalem, you who kill the prophets and stone those sent to you, how often I have longed to gather your children together, as a hen gathers her chicks under her wings, but you were not willing!” (Luke 13:34)

This sounds like a God who suffers with us. It's hard to read this scripture without feeling the emotion of it - Jesus' real pain in it.

Technorati Tags: Tsunami, Christianity, Faith

Quote of the Day, Week, Whatever...

This is the preface to a book by a guy named John Caputo:

“As I put the finishing touches on this book, the world reels under the overwhelming violence of the tsunami (“sea wave”) that occurred on the day after Christmas 2004, which destroyed the lives and property of hundreds of thousands of people in south Asia.

“Predictably, many religious leaders have been rushing to the nearest microphone or camera to explain that, while these are all innocent victims, we cannot hope to explain the mystery of God’s ways – implying that this natural disaster is something God foresaw but for deeper reasons known only to the divine mind chose not to forestall. Others are telling us that God has taken this terrible occasion to remind us that we are all sinners and to dish out some much-needed and justifiable punishment to the human race.

“Tell that to the father who lost his grip on his three-year-old daughter and watched in horror as she was carried out to sea.

“Those are blasphemous images of God for me..."

Technorati Tags: Tsunami, Christianity, John Caputo

What if you're a flamin' liberal who doesn't believe Jesus is God?

[10/02 - check out Mary's excellent response. If you have a Xanga account, join the conversation over there, if not, you can post a comment here. I'd love to hear what more people think about this.]

I had a conversation with someone today that reminded me of the purpose behind my bringing up the church discussion last week (see here). I didn't bring up the discussion last week in order to philosophize about methods of “doing church.” I also didn’t bring up the conversation to be hip and cool (although clearly I am both).

Rather, I brought up the discussion because I have personally found (both in my own life and in conversations with others) that many people find today’s church completely irrelevant to their own lives. This is not a matter of moving things around – changing up the sermon, reinventing “Sunday School,” etc. No, I mean the whole thing simply has no attraction (not in a consumeristic way, but in a spiritual sense). This is deeply troubling to me. And that is why I brought up the question last week.

So, back to what originally provoked this particular blog entry. I had a conversation with someone today (yeah, contrary to the opinion of some, I do actually have real-live conversations with people – I don’t just blog my relationships). In passing, this person mentioned that she was a Christian in high school. Due to my supernatural ability to read people’s minds, I followed her statement by asking her if she no longer considered herself to be a Christian (yep, I’m smart like that). In response, she said a couple things I thought were interesting. First of all, her response was that she was “super liberal” and didn’t fit with most Christians. I mentioned that perhaps there are some Christians around that also don’t exactly fit the typical conservative Christian stereo-type and that maybe there are some churches that are even open to people who don’t fit that stereo-type. She agreed but also stated that it might be odd to go to church when, in her words, “I don’t really believe Jesus is God.” While clearly a defining characteristic of a Christian, this statement did make me think. I started thinking about Jesus. As far as I can remember, he didn’t really go around shouting to everyone that he was God, right? I mean there are probably more instances of him trying to hide his identity than situations where he is clearly proclaiming his divinity, etc. Maybe I’m forgetting some situations, but for the most part I think this is true (and my point is not to make little of his divinity, just to mention that he didn’t exactly make this his primary talking-point).

Ok, so how does this all come together.

First of all, I think the church should be a place for more than just conservative folks (does using the word “folks” automatically make me a conservative?). Second, I think somehow the church should also be a place for people who are asking questions. For people who might not even believe Jesus is God (pretty radical). I mean if Jesus didn’t make a big deal out of his divinity (which in fact is a big deal), then certainly we can hang out and include people who are doubting, questioning, and searching, right?

So, maybe this all seems very simple. Maybe you are saying, “Adam, of course we should include everyone, flamin’ l*berals and even people questioning and doubting.” My response is that we can say this all we want but ultimately we must do something about it. When I was talking to this person, I have to admit I was almost clueless as to what church this person would be welcomed to and feel comfortable in. I do think there are some “open” churches in our area, and I do like my own church, but this person wouldn’t have lasted five minutes in any “official church meeting” of any church I could think of. What does this mean? How does the church engage these types of people – people who are disillusioned with the church and with the picture of God that has been presented to them?

I think this is what I am passionate about. I want to be a part of connecting these kinds of people to places/people/situations where they can be themselves, not be judged, and be able to come in contact with the real God. I’m not interested in a hip, cool, church service for seeking devil worshipers (or flaming liberals) but a more natural organic way for the church to engage the world (and it certainly doesn’t have to be an official meeting scenario - actually, I'm kind of antagonistic to that). I think I want this because in some ways I’m in this same place, even though I happen to believe. In so many ways we’re all in the same boat – none of us have it all figured out (at least that’s my hope…).

I really think there will only be more and more people like the person I met today. The percentage is certainly higher in larger urban centers, but I think the time is coming when even a place like Waco (yep, even Waco!) is going to be full of disenchanted, disillusioned, post-Christians (especially at Baylor).

Anyways, that’s what I’m thinking about today. I hope it helps you to understand why I am interested in the stuff I posted about last week. And I hope it might even make you a little interested (or maybe even more importantly, concerned).

Technorati Tags: Emerging Church, Christianity, Post-Christian

Racial Prejudice

You should really check out Geoff's recent post concerning an online racial prejudice "test." I took it and thought it was very interesting and worth the time (it probably takes 5 minutes). I would really be interested to see what you all think of it.

Go over to Geoff's blog, take the test, and join in the discussion over at his blog. It may make you a little uncomfortable (I didn't want to post my results...but I did) but you should join in. I dare you.

This is the link for the test. Click on "Deomonstration" and then follow the links until "Race IAT."

Join in the discussion here.

Technorati Tags: Prejudice, Project Implicit, Race IAT

Surveying the Blogosphere - Weekend reading

Since I have been blogging recently about thoughts concerning the future of the church, etc, I found these articles interesting. Each one relates to a significant "movement" within today's church. Whether you agree with these "movements" or not, I always find it interesting to learn about the many-varied ways God is working (whether I like it or not).

1. Emerging Church and Brian McLaren, from the Washington Post.

2. Is Jonathan Edwards your homeboy? Calvinsim and the reformed movement from Christianity Today.

3. The Christian 'Left'? - July article from the New York Times.

4. The "third awakening", George W. Bush, and the battle between good and evil. I don't know about this one...

Other recent articles of interest:

5. Significant new study concerning religion in America (from Baylor!). Check out this and this.

6. Wanna go to Jesus Camp?

Technorati Tags: Emerging Church, Brian McLaren, Calvinism, Baylor Survey of Religion, Jesus Camp

Losing Faith [In Prayer] - Wandering wonderings

[check out the conversation going on related to the previous post - I'd love to hear from more of you]

I have a feeling this post might be a little bit of a follow-up to my “Overrated Faithfulness of God” trilogy (post 1, 2, 3) that I never quite finished. Or maybe not…

Why pray? This question has been on my mind a lot recently and I don’t exactly know what to do with it.

These things seem true:

- God does not give us everything we want (I started with the easiest one)
- Sometimes God allows bad things to happen
- The fervency of my prayer does not change how God responds to my prayer
- Prayer is not about me getting what I want
- It is good to ask
- Asking does not mean I will be given what I want

Ok, so with all of this being said, I repeat my question. Why pray?

Is prayer simply for communing with God? For being with him in our circumstances? For being still and listening to what perspective we might gain?

I just don’t know…I do think prayer is important, I just don’t know how to view it. I don’t know how to think of prayer anymore. I just don’t know what to say when I pray…I don't feel comfortable with all the requests but yet that's what's going on with me...

And what about faith? What exactly am I supposed to be “faithing” in? In Jesus, of course. But what does that mean? If God does not answer prayer according to my own perceived needs, and he doesn’t prevent evil from happening, then what is the point? What am I trusting will happen? That all will turn out well? The problem is that all does not turn out well! I believe in real evil and in a messed up world. And it appears God does not stop this from happening.

Ok, at this point I want to be able to say that my prayer is directed to, and my faith is in, a loving God who is working in and through all in order to redeem all. I think I can believe this. I am hopeful and I have a mustard seed of faith that this is true.

BUT, here’s where it might get a little more interesting. I also strongly believe that there must be hope for this life, for this world. We are not just supposed to hold on and hope for heaven, right? There must be purpose in the here and now, right? I think so, but how exactly does this work…what’s the point of the here and now? Just a prep for heaven, which is the real deal? I don’t think so.

I don’t know where this leaves me. I want to pray. I want to believe that prayer is part of the very essence of what it means to be human. But how does this work when God does not answer prayer in a way to save us from evil and when prayer does not seem to give us any nice warm fuzzy “feeling” of communion with God? What then?

As for now, I don’t know how to pray. I don’t feel very comfortable asking for anything anymore because it doesn’t seem to amount to anything. I think I'd rather just be quiet before God.

But that’s just me.

Fun Fact - 38% of the sentences in this entry have a question mark (wasn't that fun?)

Technorati Tags: Prayer, Faith, Christianity

Quote of the Week - The Revolution

"Will there be a macro-model [such as house churches or cyber-churches], similar in magnitude to the congregational format of the local church, to replace that dominant but declining model? It does not seem likely. In fact, some extensions of the congregational model, such as the "emergent" or "postmodern" congregations, really are not new models but simply minor refinements of the reigning model. Ultimately, we expect to see believers choosing from a proliferation of options, weaving together a set of favored alternatives into a unique tapestry that constitutes the personal 'church' of the individual" (emphasis mine).

George Barna, Revolution

I have been thinking about this a lot lately. What do you think? Does this seem likely to you? If so, do you think this is good? Bad?

Previous related post: We all want to change the world

Technorati Tags: Revolution, George Barna, Emerging Church, House Church

New Design

I decided to go back to more simplicity. This looks a lot less cluttered. I like it much better.

What do you think?

Does the new design look good on your screen?

Do you notice any problems?

Any suggestions?

Technorati Tags: Blogging

What you need to know

In my first effort to move my blog in a more purposeful direction, I dedicate this entry to a various assortment of items of mixed interest. Ok, so maybe this doesn't go along with being more purposeful, but I'm going to do it anyway. I think it is my responsibility to keep you informed of the very important matters being discussed on the internet.

So here's what you need to know:

1. Should Christians care about the environment? Check out this article for the clear answer.

For those who are too lazy (or supposedly busy) to check it out, here are a few significant quotes from the article. I think these are important matters to consider.

"More and more evangelicals are coming to believe creation care is an integral part of their calling as Christians. It is becoming part of their faith..."

"If you believe, as I do, that the ultimate end is not the destruction of the Earth but the healing of the Earth, you will be inclined toward wanting to work with God to see it restored..."

"The Southern Baptist Convention, the largest Protestant denomination in the country, adopted a resolution in June denouncing environmental activism..."

Personally, I was convicted some in this area by reading Wendell Berry earlier this year. You should all read his stuff. You may not agree but he will certainly push your boundaries and help you to see things in new ways. Of course if (like Berry) you are already living an alternative agrarian lifestyle, then don't worry about it.

What do you think about these issues?

2. Ok, I waited a week for Brooke to post this, but she didn't. You should check out this article about how to create cynics. The matters in this article have been on my mind for awhile (and Brooke's too - and Mary liked it. So that should be plenty of endorsement, right?).

3. I think Waco should become a "slow life city." Don't you?

4. Last, but certainly not least, check out some great deals on DVDs (free shipping too). A great chance to buy all your Christmas presents early. Everyone likes DVDs, right?

5. Ok, I lied. One more just for laughs. A real live Ent.

By the way, I just realized that I must really like numbered lists - I use them a lot on my blog. I wonder why...everyone ponder...but for now, that's what you need to know.

Technorati Tags: Environment, Evangelicals, Wendell Berry, Ent

A New Chapter

I feel the need for some blogging change. I have been inspired recently to have a more coherent center to my musings - a greater sense of purpose. Geoff recently started blogging (you should read his recent post about gerrymandering and weigh in on the discussion) and he made the comment that blogs with purpose are clearly the best blogs (or something like that). I want to be a blogger with purpose. Tallskinnykiwi (a blog I read regularly) is blog-fasting for the month of September, partly in order to consider the direction of his blog. I want to learn from these things and have a better blog. For myself and for whoever happens to be reading. I want this. And in some ways I think I need this.

I don't exactly know what this will look like and mean practically. Maybe things won't look a whole lot different. But I do hope it means more posts and more meaningful posts. I hope it means more connection to the title of this blog (my blog's "center"). I hope it means more value for you in the time you take to read my thoughts.

So, here's to a new chapter in If God is Love and to better things to come.

Thanks for reading.

Technorati Tags: Blogging, Gerrymandering

Your Assignment for the Week

Here are a few points of interest. At least they were interesting to me. They might not be interesting to you. It's your call. Be ready for a quiz on Friday.

1. Derek Webb is giving away his latest album for free. Yeah, you heard that right. I really like the album (I own it) and I think it is pretty radical that he is giving it away. Go download it.

2. I like to read Real Live Preacher from time to time. He is a good writer and has good things to say (that's a good combination). Anyways, I thought this video blog was worth watching. It's about the church and whether this whole God thing is real, and he sums it all up in about six minutes. Impressive, eh? Check it out.

3. Are you going to become Catholic? I'm not. But I thought this article was interesting. What do you think about this trend?

Technorati Tags: Derek Webb, Mockingbird, Real Live Preacher, Catholic Church

Speaking of Hot Dogs...

How many times have you asked yourself, "Where can I get a corn dog that was half-eaten by Britany Spears?"

Well, of course, the only viable answer is Ebay. Enjoy.

Technorati Tags: Ebay, Britany Spears, Corn Dog

Speaking of Heresy...

The Man Jesus Christ is Coming to America!

Believe me. This is definitely for real.

Check out his amazing website.

Make sure to read his reasoning for why he cannot possibly be a false Christ.

If you're not convinced, I'll buy you a hot dog.

Technorati Tags: The Man Jesus Christ

Reading A Heretic’s Guide to Eternity, Part 2

First of all, the term “heretic.” I have no problem with this term because I do think they define it at the beginning of the book - “people who will push past and beyond the accepted conventional wisdom of the dominant group and pull us across sacred fences that hold us back and keep us tied to perceived orthodoxies.” Sounds good to me. Isn’t this needed in the Church? Too many people seem to be hung up on Burke/Taylor using the term “heretic” because it is not in line with past understandings of the term, etc. To that I say, “I don’t care.” They define it at the beginning of the book in a way I can live with – now it’s time to move on.

Ok, it has been a couple weeks since I read the book so it is a little removed from my mind at this point. However, in some ways I think that is good because I will mainly discuss what I really came away with from the book, rather than just a summary. These are the thoughts I have been working through since reading the book.

So, one point the authors seem to be trying to make is about “religion” (another term people are getting upset with – though I am not). I couldn’t agree more on this point. I don’t think Jesus came to establish another religion. He came to show us God – to show us the Grace and Love of God. Burke/Taylor seem to agree with this in many ways. They propose that Jesus came to show us Grace, which is beyond religion, and to draw us into a relationship of following Jesus (which is what Jesus calls us to do). They talk about “spirituality” a lot. Sometimes their discussion of spirituality gets a little grey for me, but I think they are really just calling us to move out of religion and into this great Love of God revealed in Jesus Christ (maybe I’m wrong, but this is what I came away with). I think this is right on. Christianity is stuck in a lot of unnecessary religious baggage that has accumulated over the past couple thousand years – a large percentrage of it doesn’t seem to have much to do with the person of Jesus.

Another aspect of this idea of moving past religion, is that this Gospel of Jesus is all-inclusive – everyone is included unless they decide to opt-out. Burke/Taylor seem pretty fed up with the current-day idea of heaven and hell proposed by many in the Church. Here again, I tend to agree. I think the Love of God is for everyone, and working in everything. We are all included. Burke/Taylor make a particular effort to extend this to people of other religions. Again, this is another area that seems a little hazy at times. Burke/Taylor are not proposing the nice easy idea that everyone is right and going to heaven. I think instead they are pointing out that we as Christians have greatly abused these ideas of heaven and hell. By saying “we are in” and those of other religions are out, we have missed the point of the gospel. The point is not that other religions are “out" (or even that we are "in"), rather, the point is to move beyond religion, to Jesus Christ and how he reveals to us the God of Grace and Love. I believe our God must be working beyond the borders of the religion of Christianity – don’t you? We don’t have to affirm other religions as Truth to believe that God is at work in all places, with all people – and that he is working to bring all people into this Grace and Love expressed in Jesus Christ. I don’t think God’s work is to bring all people into the “religion” of Christianity.

Alright, so all of this was a big part of Burke/Taylor’s book from my perspective. However, there is certainly more. One other aspect of the book is that in moving beyond the religion of Christianity, Burke/Taylor seem to be saying pretty clearly that the institutional Church, the way we Christians do church for the most part, is in bad need of some rethinking and reorientation. I couldn’t agree more. However, at the same time they seem to affirm that the institutional church is not all bad, but in fact still does a lot of good for many people. But for many people, especially younger people, the institutional church is no longer attractive, it does not fit with today’s world – it has become, and is becoming, obsolete for many. I really like the following quote, which I have on my “quote of the week.” Burke/Taylor write, “Basically, I see the institutional church as the post office in an e-mail world.” This resonates with a lot of my recent thoughts about the big picture of the Church. I can’t help but say that the institutional church is still needed and that God works in it (just as the post office is still very much needed in today’s “e-mail world”). But I also don’t see a place for me in the institutional church anymore (and I think the number of people in this category is growing and will only continue to grow). I think the Church is moving beyond the borders of the institutional church – and this is a good thing. Many will see the Love of God in Jesus Christ because of this happening. However, the institutional church still has a place and I wholeheartedly bless those who are growing by following Jesus in the institutional church.

With all that being said, I do wish Burke/Taylor would have spent some additional time discussing how this all might work out in today’s world – how expressions of church can move beyond the institutional form and into this new world. Burke/Taylor would probably say they did discuss this in the book, but I just didn’t think it was adequate. I was really excited after the first two-thirds of the book but then it seemed (at least for me) to wander. I would have liked some additional discussion about how the kind of faith and church Burke/Taylor were talking about works out practically. But at the same time, I am content with what the book does. I think it brings out some important ideas for discussion. I think the Church needs to be talking about it’s lack of relevance to many, and how it can move beyond the borders of the current institutional church religion. I am also very appreciative that Burke/Taylor are fully committed to Jesus Christ. This is the central defining characteristic of their faith – the person of Jesus. I hope there is more exploring to come about what it means to be committed to Jesus Christ in today’s world, in a way that does not hold to the boundaries and constraints of religion, but dares to be “heretical” by moving more fully into the Grace and Love of God expressed in Jesus – no matter how much it goes against traditional ways of doing things.

Spencer, is there anything I have completely missed that you were trying to convey in this book? I know I probably saw it differently in some ways than you did, but is there anything I just missed?

What do the rest of you think about all this?

Technorati Tags: Heretic's Guide, Spencer Burke, Emerging Church, Emergent, Universalism, Book Review

Reading A Heretic’s Guide to Eternity, Part 1

I have often thought I should blog more about what I am reading. Both to share what I am learning and thinking about, and to capture my thoughts about books in a place where I can go back and look at them in the future. Well, about a week ago I was graciously given an advance copy of a new book called, A Heretics Guide to Eternity, with the understanding that I would write about the book here on my blog. So, with that being said, here is my first official entry in a “Reading” series you can look forward (or not) to seeing more of in the future.

There has already been considerable blog-discussion going on concerning this book. Even from people who haven’t read the book yet (which I don’t like). Scot McKnight, who did read the book, devoted a considerable amount of time to discussing this book , and eventually came to the conclusion that Burke and Taylor’s thoughts are indeed heresy (and he doesn’t mean that in any sort of positive manner).

With that ringing endorsement, I venture into A Heretic’s Guide to Eternity!

To start off I want to leave you with some quotes from the book to consider. In a couple days I will write some more about my own thoughts concerning the book.

“At this point in our history, I believe God is to be questioned as much as obeyed, created again and not simply worshiped. Our views must be continually revised, reconsidered, and debated. Spirituality in the twenty-first century is not etched in stone but fashioned out of the fabrics of our lives in new and ever-changing permutations. This is the focus and the hope of this book.” (xxiv)

“I believe that every age, and particularly an age like ours, needs heretics – people who will push past and beyond the accepted conventional wisdom of the dominant group and pull us across sacred fences that hold us back and keep us tied to perceived orthodoxies. For me, a heretic is a spiritual insurgent, one who rises up against the established order from the inside – one who heralds a new way, another option, a fresh view.” (xxv)

“At this point in my life, I am happy to live with uncertainty and in precarious freedom, rather than hunker down in the false security of institutions and recite doctrines that no longer feed my soul.” (xxviii)

“To be honest, religion doesn’t really work for me anymore. Being aligned with an institutional church or a particular system of worship seems increasingly irrelevant to my ongoing journey with God.” (6)

“I believe that the next phase of faith is to move beyond religion. Nowhere does Jesus call his followers to start a religion. Jesus’ invitation to his first disciples was to follow him.” (19)

“The complex systems we create with our religions may help us make sense of the world for a time, but eventually they out-live their usefulness.” (28)

“The Christian story as presented by the church is no longer resonating with the culture. People are not leaving churches because they’ve ended their spiritual journey or have abandoned their commitment to the teachings of Jesus. Nor are they trying to escape life or responsibility. This can’t be written off as simply the effects of consumer culture. On the contrary, people are leaving the church because they want to embrace something more than abstract ideas and religious dogma. They want a transforming spirituality that gives their life shape and meaning. The currency of the church has to change.” (91)

“Every month or so, Lisa, the kids, and I meet up with friends at the park for a picnic – except we don’t call it a picnic. We call it church.” (123)

“Basically, I see the institutional church as the post office in an e-mail world.” (132)

“Jesus doesn’t ask for universal agreement to a set of propositions about himself. He simply invites us to follow him.” (137)

This is by no means a summary of the book. These are just some quotations I found intriguing and wanted to put our here for discussion. I am going to withhold most of my comments until my next entry (in a few days or so), but I will say that much of this book really resonated with me, and much of it did not. I didn’t get upset or disturbed by anything in the book but the authors never really went in the direction I was hoping (which isn’t necessarily a criticism as much as a personal preference). In fact, I felt that much of the later part of the book did not seem to me to flow out of where the book started. As a result, I have primarily posted quotations from parts of the book that did resonate with me in one way or another. I really think this is a book that should be read for the overall picture and to lead to further discussion rather than being picked apart and discussed only in regard to parts one disagrees with. Most of the discussion I have noticed about this book seems to be focused on points of disagreement. In response, I am going to mainly discuss the parts I found valuable and thought-provoking. I think there is far more to be gained in this way.

Until then, do you have any comments about the quotations I have listed? Any thoughts? Is this intriguing at all to you? Does any of it resonate with you? Or perhaps disturb you?

Technorati Tags: Heretic's Guide, Spencer Burke, Emerging Church, Emergent, Book Review

It's never too soon to start your Christmas shopping

Last year I was quite up-front about what I wanted for Christmas.

Unfortunately, no one came through for me. Maybe I will have better luck this year if I give additional notice...

There's nothing better than a nice pair of pajamas (hint hint).

Armor of God PJs

(Can you believe this URL was still available? Amazing.)

"To blog or not to blog. That is a stupid question."

It has increasingly come to my attention that there are some who are against blogging. It is simply a way to avoid personal contact, they might say. Or perhaps a way to offer opinions with no real accountability. Or it takes away from time with real human beings. Or it even might be something so trendy and “cool” that the only responsible response is to reject the very idea of it. Some might even say, “If God wanted people to blog, then the Bible would have been written as a blog, and not a book.”

While the last comment certainly makes me think twice, the other comments simply leave me a little confused. As a result, I offer you, my faithful readers, my top five reasons for blogging (in no particular order).

1. I enjoy writing.

2. It works something like a journal for me – a way to work through my thoughts. (I’ve never heard anyone bad-talk a journal before…)

3. Blogging provides an easy forum for some discussion. I realize it can’t go real deep, but I still think it is valuable. I have certainly been encouraged and enlightened by some of the discussions that have occurred on this blog.

4. Blogging provides a way to have discussion and keep in contact with people I am not able to see very often (especially those who live far away from me), and also people I have only met online (this leads to Reason 4.5 – meeting neat people. You know I could just add another number and call this the “Top Six Reasons I Blog” but would you really still be reading right now if you hadn’t seen the catchy “Top Five” aspect of this entry? I mean really, who wants to read a “Top Six” list? Not me. Definitely not me. Of course, at this point you may be wondering why in the world you are reading this ridiculous “Top 5” list…).

5. Perhaps most significantly, blogging has led to more real life, person-to-person, in person, discussion. Rather than taking away from my time with real live people, blogging has led to further discussion about issues related to my blog posts (and other people’s blog posts).

Ok, so there are my top 5 reasons, right off the top of my head. This clearly, once and for all, answers the questions of why I blog, and why believing blogging to be always a bad thing, is simply incorrect.

By the way, I realize that those who do not like blogs, and therefore do not read blogs, are not going to read this. This does reduce the significance of this post, quite unfortunately. But really I just thought it would be fun to think about why I blog, and to tell all of you. In case you were wondering. And I’m sure you were.

And finally, please know that I am not anti-anti-bloggers. Ok, well maybe I am. But still, I do like them nonetheless. I just felt the need to have a little fun. In summary, I agree with George MacDonald who intelligently spoke, “If someone does not approve of blogging, he must have such a distorted and incorrect understanding of blogging, that to believe in his particular idea of blogging as a good thing, would be to sin; therefore, we must not hold anything against such a man, for he knows not what he is doing – each of us can only walk in the truth we do see, and indeed, it is our duty to do so.”

Amen, George. (I love that guy.)

P.S. - While I'm at this, I think I will "tag" five other people to go through this same exercise. I want to know why you blog - specifically, I want to know your "Top 5" reasons for blogging (no cheating). Of course, any of you are welcome to do this, and you are welcome to reject my request all together, but anyway, I would like to hear from Amy, Andrea, Brooke, Maria and Mary (these seem to be the most regular bloggers, and that's why I chose them - I'd love for others to join in, if you are willing!).

Technorati Tags: Blogging

More of George MacDonald on the church

I have been reading There and Back by George MacDonald and was very intrigued to find some more thought-provoking comments from him concerning the church (see this previous post as well). This is particularly interesting to me because I have read so little by MacDonald that specifically addresses the church. However, I am coming to realize that his novels seem to contain a lot of his thoughts concerning the church (I don't know why I didn't see this before). He seems to have chosen to write about the church through story rather than through sermons/teachings. In combination with what I know of his own life story, I am really seeing that his thoughts concerning the church were not only profound but very radical (as was much of his thought).

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Excerpt from There and Back, by George MacDonald (Wingfold is the clergyman of the parish)

Personally, I find the whole matter of religious teaching and observance in general a very dull business – as dull as most secular teaching. If salvation is anything like what are commonly considered its means, it is to me a consummation devoutly to be deprecated. But no one ever found Wingfold dull. For one thing he scarcely thought about the church, and never mistook it for the kingdom of God. Its worldly affairs gave him no concern, and party-spirit was loathsome to him as the very antichrist. He was a servant of the church universal, of all that believed or ever would believe in the Lord Christ, therefore of all men, of the whole universe – and first, of every man, woman, and child in his own parish. But though he was the servant of the boundless church, no church was his master. He had no master but the one lord of life. Therefore the so-called prosperity of the church did not interest him. He knew that the Master works from within outward, and believed no danger possible to the church, except from such of its nominal pastors as know nothing of the life that works leavening from within. The will of God was all Wingfold cared about, and if the church was not content with that, the church was nothing to him, and might do to him as it would. He did not spend his life for the people because he was a parson, but he was a parson because the church of England gave him facilities for spending his life for the people. He gave himself altogether to the Lord, and therefore to his people. He believed in Jesus Christ as the everyday life of the world, whose presence is just as needful in bank, or shop, or house of lords, as at what so many of the clergy call the altar. When the Lord is known as the heart of every joy, as well as the refuge from every sorrow, then the altar will be known for what it is – an ecclesiastical antique. The Father permitted but never ordained sacrifice; in tenderness to his children he ordered the ways of their unbelieving belief. So at least thought and said Wingfold, and if he did not say so in the pulpit, it was not lest his fellows should regard him as a traitor, but because so few of his people would understand. He would spend no strength in trying to shore up the church; he sent his life-blood through its veins, and his appeal to the Living One, for whose judgment he waited.

The world would not perish if what is called the church did go to pieces; a truer church, for there might well be a truer, would arise out of her ruins. But let no one seek to destroy; let him that builds only take heed that he build with gold and silver and precious stones, not with wood and hay and stubble! If the church were so built, who could harm it! if it were not in part so built, it would be as little worth pulling down as letting stand. There is in it a far deeper and better vitality than its blatant supporters will be able to ruin by their advocacy, or the enviers of its valueless social position by their assaults upon that position.

Technorati Tags: George MacDonald, There and Back, Church

The Week That Should Have Been

Well it’s been a little while since I last posted an entry but I have a good excuse! This past Sunday night, July 23, at 7:45 p.m. my wife Brooke gave birth to a healthy baby boy! He weighed 8 pounds 3 ounces and is quite obviously the most beautiful baby ever! We thought perhaps he was going to wait and arrive right on his July 25 due date but I guess he was ready to come out a couple days early! Everything went well at the hospital and we are currently adjusting to having another Moore in the house. Diapers and mid-night feedings are now the norm – a whole new world has begun! But we are excited this day has finally come – this child was long-awaited. We are certainly grateful for his presence in our lives.

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Sadly, this is only fiction. But how I long for it to be true. Why can’t we just go back and change everything? I still find myself angry. Afraid. Confused. And my exhaustion is only growing. How will we make it? It seems that each week only brings new troubles – when it appears things are getting better, we end up further from where we want to be and with even greater suffering staring us in the face. Lord, why do you appear absent when we need you most? Why do you appear to be a mere figment of my imagination (or worse) when I so badly want to believe you are Love?

---------------

“Meanwhile, where is God? This is one of the most disquieting symptoms. When you are happy, so happy that you have no sense of needing Him, so happy that you are tempted to feel His claims upon you as an interruption, if you remember yourself and turn to Him with gratitude and praise, you will be – or so it feels – welcomed with open arms. But go to Him when your need is desperate, when all other help is vain, and what do you find? A door slammed in your face, and a sound of bolting and double bolting on the inside. After that, silence.”

“Not that I am (I think) in much danger of ceasing to believe in God. The real danger is of coming to believe such dreadful things about Him. The conclusion I dread is not ‘So there’s no God after all,’ but ‘So this is what God’s really like. Deceive yourself no longer.’”

C.S. Lewis, A Grief Observed

Technorati Tags: Grief, Stillbirth, C.S. Lewis, A Grief Observed, Questioning God

Church?

I recently re-read a chapter in a George MacDonald book entitled Robert Falconer. When I first read the book I remember thinking the chapter was very important and that I should re-read it from time-to-time. So anyway, after four years I decided to re-read the chapter the other day. I found some of it so profound that I feel the need to share it here. I will try to do so as briefly as possible. It takes up a couple pages from the book. Much of it is dialogue, so it should read quickly.

The main portion of the chapter involves the narrator of the book meeting a man named Robert Falconer. The two engage in conversation and Falconer asks the man to accompany him on a walk through his neighborhood. For most of the chapter the man simply accompanies Falconer as he walks through a poor neighborhood talking to various individuals. Some of the individuals are his friends, others are new acquaintances. As he walks through the neighborhood and talks with various people, he gives them encouragement, provides them with needed help, and even works with a friend in the neighborhood to provide for the needs of two newly orphaned children. The narrator is amazed that Falconer knows all of these people and is able to quickly meet so many of their needs. The following conversation occurs after their evening walk (which probably lasted at least a couple hours). The narrator is trying to understand how Falconer knows all these people and how/why he is connected with so many of them. He thinks perhaps Falconer is part of a society to help the poor.

“Are you a society, then,” I [the narrator] asked at length.

“No. At least we don’t use the word. And certainly no other society would acknowledge us.”

“What are you, then?”

“Why should we be anything, so long as we do our work?”

“Don’t you think there is some affectation in refusing a name?”

“Yes, if the name belongs to you? Not otherwise.”

“Do you lay claim to no epithet of any sort?”

“We are a church, if you like. There!”

“Who is your clergyman?”

“Nobody.”

“Where do you meet?”

“Nowhere.”

“What are your rules, then?”

“We have none.”

“What makes you a church?”

“Divine Service.”

“What do you mean by that?”

“The sort of thing you have seen to-night.”

“What is your creed?”

“Christ Jesus.”

“But what do you believe about him?”

“What we can. We count any belief in Him – the smallest – better than any believe about him – the greatest – or about anything else besides. But we exclude no one.”

“How do you manage without?”

“By admitting no one.”

“I cannot understand you.”

“Well, then: we are an undefined company of people, who have grown into human relations with each other naturally, through one attractive force – love for human beings, regarding them as human beings only in virtue of the divine in them.”

“But you must have some rules,” I insisted.

“None whatever. They would cause us only trouble. We have nothing to take us from our work. Those that are most in earnest, draw most together; those that are on the outskirts have only to do nothing, and they are free of us. But we do sometimes ask people to help us – not with money.”

“But who are the we?”

“Why you, if you will do anything, and I and Miss St. John, and twenty others – and a great many more I don’t know, for every one is a centre to others. It is our work that binds us together.”

“Then when that stops you drop to pieces.”

“Yes, thank God. We shall then die. There will be no corporate body – which means a bodied body, or an unsouled body, left behind to simulate life, and corrupt, and work no end of disease. We go to ashes at once, and leave no corpse for a ghoul to inhabit and make a vampire of. When our spirit is dead, our body is vanished.”

“Then you won’t last long.”

“Then we oughtn’t to last long.”

“But the work of the world could not go on so.”

“We are not the life of the world. God is. And when we fail, he can and will send out more and better labourers into his harvest-field. It is a divine accident by which we are thus associated.”

“But surely the church must be otherwise constituted.”

“My dear sir, you forget: I said we were a church, not the church.”

“Do you belong to the Church of England?”

“Yes, some of us. Why should we not? In as much as she has faithfully preserved the holy records and traditions, our obligations to her are infinite. And to leave her would be to quarrel, and start a thousand vermiculate questions, as Lord Byron calls them, for which life is too serious in my eyes. I have no time for that.”

“Then you count the Church of England the Church?”

“Of England, yes; of the universe, no: that is constituted just like ours, with the living working Lord for the heart of it.”

“Will you take me for a member?”

“No.”

“Will you not, if ------?”

“You may make yourself one if you will. I will not speak a word to gain you. I have shown you work. Do something, and you are of Christ’s Church.”

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I think this is really quite profound and reveals much truth concerning the Church. Perhaps more of my thoughts will follow.

What do you think? Do you see anything good in this?

Technorati Tags: Church, George MacDonald, Robert Falconer

Lovely

I read Don Miller's Blue Like Jazz again this week. I guess that’s the third time. I did start reading it one other time but then Brooke made fun of me for reading it so often. So I stopped. She kind of made fun of me this time too – but I didn’t give in to the peer pressure (or should I say “spousal pressure?”).

I know I read his books a lot. I know I’m weird and obsessive. Sorry.

You know, I don’t think I love his books as much as I just love him (that doesn’t mean I don’t love his books too. It also doesn’t mean I want to marry him). I just can’t get enough. He encourages me more than any other author over the past couple years. That’s allowed, right?

Anyways, as I read Blue Like Jazz I was reminded of the need to love others. I am not good at loving others. I am good at avoiding others. But I don’t think that’s a particularly good talent.

I’m selfish. I’m full of pride. Oftentimes, I don’t care about anyone except myself.

So yeah, I said Don Miller encourages me…I’m getting there.

I’m encouraged that in spite of my addiction to self, I am still significant. Still loved by God. I need to be reminded of that (don’t we all?). Don Miller is good at reminding me of this.

Perhaps the greatest thing God has spoken to me in the past couple of years (with some help from Don Miller), and perhaps revealed is a better word than spoken, is that each person is infinitely lovely, uniquely significant and important. This is why we are called to love others. No other reason really. Sure, Jesus said so. But I think the reason he said so is because each person matters. That’s why we love. That’s why God loves us.

But still, I have trouble with this love thing. Mainly because I only want to love people I think are lovable. Or perhaps more accurate, I want to love people who will benefit me in some way.

In short, I am newly encouraged to love others. Not treating love as a commodity (see quote of the week) but rather loving because each person is a beautiful child of God, an intended expression of God himself.

I know I have said all of this before. But I just needed to say it again.

I hope you all are well.

Technorati Tags: Blue Like Jazz, Don Miller, God's Love

The Great Blogging Blunder of June 2006

I never thought blogging could have such terrible consequences. A venue intended for reflection, discussion, and fun – how could it have come to this? The comments of the last couple posts brought me such heartache that I quit my job and have been moping around the house without a hope in the world. I only tried to have some fun on my blog – and to include my blogging friends in the fun. My small lie was never supposed to hurt anyone. It was intended to be clever. I thought someone would guess quickly. Joy would be experienced by all. It wasn’t supposed to happen this way…it all should have turned out much differently…

As the guesses started coming I could feel the tension rising. I should have just told the truth quickly, I should have given up the Great Contest of June 2006. Instead, I kept letting the wrong answers come. Did I find joy in the wrong answers? Was I merely basking in the glory of my “victory?”

First came Aaron’s responses, “Why would you lie to us?” “Maybe a hint…could provoke forgiveness.”

Forgiveness? Did it really come to this so quickly? What have I done?

Then Cyndee, “That’s just wrong.” And Rishi, “I think Adam is craptastic.”

I tried to play it all off as fun and games. “The Great Contest of June 2006," I called it. I thought this might sum up the fun we had all experienced. Instead it became clear the repercussions of my actions were only just beginning.

Amy: “I voted for craptastic.”

Mary: “I’m not sure what ‘craptastic’ means, but I think it may well apply to you.”

Aaron: “What a load of craptastic gobbledygook.”

And then came the real stinger that finally pushed me over the edge and into despair: mr. the durbin family. He hadn’t commented for some time. I thought perhaps he no longer read my humble blog. Little did I know he was all too present. It was all “a shim-sham and a horshen-flagghert,” he said. How was I to interpret that? What is he saying? And then it all came together: “From this day forward, Adam Moore, you and I are enemies.”

Oh, what have I done?! I never intended this blog for evil. I desired friendship, love, and happiness. Not enmity.

After much contemplation, deliberation, consternation, and reservation, I have come to a conclusion. Will I award Amy the eternal fame and glory? I don't think so. Perhaps end this blog forever? Not yet, at least.

Rather, I promise from this day forward to never again lie to you, my faithful blogging friends. “Truth in blogging” is my new motto. No more “shim-sham.” I am a changed man. Please forgive my dreadful error. Allow me another chance. You will not regret it.

Happy Fourth of July!

The Great Contest of June 2006

Well, as you may have noticed, there are no real winners in The Great Contest of June 2006. Maybe we will have a more successful contest next time - with a real winner. Oh well. It was still quite a thrilling contest. Amy does deserve some credit for posting the correct answer and Cyndee was awarded honorable mention for her true but incorrect answer.

For those who haven't been reading the comments, the correct answer was that the story was in fact completely true. The only untruth was that the story was "based on a true story." I really thought someone would get it - I guess you all are not as smart as I thought you were. Or maybe as Rishi said, I'm just "craptastic." If I knew how to do it, I would put up a poll to judge which is the case. However, I have a hunch which direction the poll might lean...

1-2-3

1 - We're back in Waco. It was a great trip but I do find myself glad to be home.

2 - The contest (see previous post) is still running. No winners yet. If you haven't already, go ahead and take a shot at eternal fame and glory.

3 - I have been working on another post - sort of a follow-up to my "The Overrated Faithfulness of God" entries. It just hasn't come together so far. I wrote quite a bit and decided I didn't like it. Here's a little bit of the "discarded post" (I guess its not really discarded if I am posting it here though...) in case you are interested in where I am trying to go next.

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Everything Is Grace (kind of an “Overrated Faithfulness of God: Part Three”)

“How have we learned Christ? It ought to be a startling thought, that we may have learned him wrong. That must be far worse than not to have learned him at all: his place is occupied by a false Christ, hard to exorcise!” – George MacDonald

Hard to exorcise, indeed. But I am compelled to keep doing the work, along with the help of others.

I previously referenced a book I read by Henri Nouwen entitled, Turn My Mourning into Dancing. One thought that has remained with me from that book is Nouwen’s statement, “everything is grace.” I searched Google for this phrase and found multiple uses by various authors. The following usage particularly struck me:

"What does it mean to be children of God? It is to expect to have all your needs taken care of. It is to expect everything. It is to know that everything is grace." - Fr. Ambrose

Reading this, I found myself wondering how it might relate to defining “faithfulness” and to the overall discussion of the “overrated faithfulness of God.” I know the past couple of posts on this subject have not been very cheery. I think my main objective in writing the way I did was to point out that “we have learned him wrong” - or at least I have. But now let’s talk some about rebuilding.

This is where I think the rebuilding begins - everything is grace. Preposterous, right? Nothing seems to support this statement. This is a ridiculous statement. Before moving forward this must be recognized – we are way out on a shaky limb. There is no other way to approach it. So much of what we see seems to support the opposite.

But yet, over two months ago when I read this statement in Nouwen, I knew I would be coming back to it. I wasn’t ready at the time (I might not be ready now) but I knew I would have to deal with this ridiculous claim. I knew I would have to deal with it, not because I think the statement is wrong, but because I seem to think it is true! This is an obviously ridiculous statement but yet something in me wants to believe it is true – something in me does believe it is true. But how can this be?!

Based On A True Story

Hello from New York City! We had a great time in Boston the past four days and have begun our time in NYC in grand fashion...

This morning we woke up early (in Boston) in order to catch our 9:30 a.m. Amtrak train to NYC. We had never used Amtrak before, so we were a little nervous about figuring it all out. We figured it out just fine, but it didn't work out quite as expected...

Things started out well. We got to the station in plenty of time and waited for the train to come. We ate some lunch on the train and all was going well. At one point we thought we were going to have a delay because a lady told us there had been a fatality on the train ahead of us. She said to expect a couple hour delay. She said fatalities are pretty normal...ok, that's just great...anyways, we weren't delayed by the fatality, which was good news. We also were not the fatality, which is always good.

As I said, all was going well...that is until we reached somewhere in Connecticut and our train engine actually derailed! Supposedly the whole engine was off the track! Of course they didn't tell us this at first. We just came to a nice stop and all the power went out (most of the train was actually on a bridge - not a good place to end up). This didn't seem like anything to get too concerned about until we started to hear sirens that seemed to stop very close to us. Then there was a nice announcement telling us there had been a "slight" problem that may delay us a little while. Hum...doesn't sound good, but hopefully not too much to worry about. In a few minutes though there was a police officer walking down the aisle asking every passenger if they were injured. This of course is never what you want to see...and you also don't really want to hear a police officer on your train say that no one should jump off the train because you may get electrocuted (there goes that idea...). And you also don't want to hear two helicopters circling over the train. And you probably don't want to see people outside the train looking at us and taking pictures...at least this doesn't seem like a good sign to me.

So at this point things are also starting to get a little warm. No air conditioning and lots of people in an enclosed area - great combination. To make a long part of the story a little shorter, I will just say that we ended up sitting in the train for about 3 hours. They did finally send us a "rescue engine" (we had to be rescued!) that pushed us back to the last stop. From there we were able to take another train to NYC but we arrived at about 6:10 p.m. instead of 1:50 p.m. This was a particularly bad thing because we already had tickets to see Over the Rhine at 8:00 p.m. Of course, before we could go to the concert we needed to figure out the subway system, check in at our hotel, and somehow find our way to the concert hall. Not an easy list of things to do in less than two hours...

Ok, so I will try to close this out pretty soon but another great part of the story is yet to come. Somehow we did figure out the subway and make it to our hotel. This was no easy task since the station we came into was absolutely crazy with lots of people! But we did make it to our hotel and quickly check in. At this point it is about 7:15 p.m. and I couldn't see any way we could make it in time (actually, at about 2:00 p.m. I pretty much came to the conclusion that we were not meant to see Over the Rhine today). Having figured out the subway some already, we pretty much knew where we needed to go. When we got to the Times Square station we needed to transfer to another train. At this point it was 7:45 p.m. and I was pretty nervous. While waiting for the train we started talking about going up to the street and walking the rest of the way. We looked at a map and figured we only needed to go about four or five blocks - no big deal, right? We decided to run for it. We got up above ground and found ourselves on Broadway right at Times Square. Very cool, at least for a minute, but then we realize that we are on 40th St. instead of 60th St. So instead of going four or five blocks we end up running down through Time Square, down Broadway, to Central Park, and beyond, for 25 or so blocks! I've never seen Brooke run like that! It was completely crazy - but the running was worth it. Miraculously, we arrived at the concert hall at 7:59 p.m. - no joke (just a tad wet though...and not smelling our best).

Alright, so I figure there may not be anyone left reading this story, which is probably not as interesting as I think it is. I won't give a review of the concert at this point except to say that we were so glad we made it! It was wonderful. The only other word about the concert is that I am now completely convinced that men should not be allowed to sing - only women. A man's voice just can't match the beauty of a women's voice (at least not a voice like Karin Berquist has).

Finally, you may have noticed that I entitled this entry "Based On A True Story." Here's the deal - a little contest fun while we finish up our vacation. Tell me what is not true in this story (don't worry about small details) and I will grant you a very special honor (really).

The Overrated Faithfulness of God, Part Two: The god we created

Yes, a part two. I’m sorry if you didn’t like part one or thought I was way off target (it might be complete nonsense for all I know). You don’t have to read part two, if you don’t want to. It won’t hurt my feelings. I promise.

If you do read on, and I guess you are so far, please know these are just some thoughts. I can’t promise they will go together or make any sense at all. I really don’t know what I’m talking about (this is quite a disclaimer...). I share these thoughts primarily for my own benefit, hoping they might also resonate with some of you or perhaps lead to some future conversation.

Ok, with that being said…

How many times have you heard these phrases (or similar ones) when you were in the midst of suffering, confusion, or difficult circumstances?

- “Everything is going to be ok.”
- “God will take care of you.”
- “This must not have been what God wanted for you. Something better will happen instead.”
- “God is sovereign. We just have to trust him.”
- “God didn’t cause this to happen, he only allowed it to happen.”
- “We just need to be praying about this.”
- “God will not allow anything too difficult for you to handle.”
- “Maybe there is something God is wanting you to learn from all of this.”
- “We just need to be thankful for what we do have.”
- “Everything will come in God’s timing.”
- “God will prove himself faithful in the end.”
- “You just need to have faith.”
- “Even Jesus experienced suffering.”

And the list goes on…

Are these phrases incorrect? Not necessarily.

So, why do I bring them up?

I bring them up because I think most of us (including myself) say these phrases all the time, without really thinking about what we are saying. We say these phrases because we want to make ourselves feel better, or we want to make others feel better. We want to try and soothe the pain.

That’s not so bad, right?

I think it might be. I think repeatedly saying these types of phrases has caused many Christians to develop an “overrated” idea of the faithfulness of God. Or perhaps a better way of saying this is that we have established a false god in place of the God of the Bible. We have created a god with the characteristics we think are important for a "good god" to have.

“Certainly a good god would not allow things to get too bad, right?”

“At least he will protect his followers.”

“This must really be a good thing in disguise. God just works in mysterious ways.”

“God may bring me through trials but eventually it will all turn out fine.”

I believe this type of thinking has done at least three things:

1. We have set ourselves up for inevitable disappointment with God. The god of our dreams is not going to match up with the true God, and this will be quite disappointing.

2. In a strange sort of way, we also end up turning God into a bad guy. When we do encounter suffering, along with the predictable disappointment, we also end up thinking that God has done these terrible things to us. We no longer feel good about the old reliable, “God only allowed this to happen.” We no longer can detect any difference in “God allowing” or “God making something happen.”

3. We turn ourselves into bad guys as well. If our god is not living up to our expectations I start to think there must be something wrong with me, I must have blown it. God is not behaving as I think he has promised, which means God must be pretty upset with me.

Ok, so what am I getting at? Maybe we’ll find out in part 3. Until then, I just want to think about this god I have created. He seemed pretty magnificent. But lately, he hasn’t been too impressive.

Religious Language

The following is from an interview of Brian McLaren at Precipice Magazine. The interview is worth reading in it's entirety (if you are interested in this kind of thing) but I found the following excerpt particularly intriguing:

"I remember one conversation that was especially poignant. A woman said, 'I have never understood you. I know you know what you should say. I know you know the theological terms that I am hoping to hear. But you consistently avoid giving me reassurance that I want. So I've been really frustrated with you for a while. Then a couple months ago, I invited some of my unchurched neighbors to church. They love it. They love you. When I talk to them about God, their eyes glaze over. I'm speaking another language. But you talk to them and they get it. So, I guess you've decided that you'd rather have me be frustrated with you so you can communicate with people like my neighbors. It still frustrates me, but at least I'm beginning to see what you're doing.' Of course, this lady still ended up leaving the church, but at least she realized that if I were to speak the language of her religious subculture, I couldn't help her neighbors. Thankfully, there are lots of churches that speak her language, so she had other places she could go. Her neighbors didn't. To me, this is a lot like Paul's dilemma - not wanting to alienate the Jewish believers, but not wanting to alienate the Gentile believers either. He had to make hard choices, and so do we."

(Thanks to Next Reformation for pointing this out)

Circle Me, Lord

A Caim* written as a night prayer for someone recently bereaved

This night and every night
seems infinite with questions,
and sleep as elusive
as answers.

Pain and longing are always present,
dulled only a little
by the distractions of day.
I am weary; I am angry.
I am confused.

Circle me, Lord.
Keep despair and disillusion without.
Bring a glimmer of hope within.

Circle me, Lord;
keep nightmares without.
Bring moments of rest within.

Circle me, Lord;
keep bitterness without.
Bring an occasional sense
of Your presence within.

(Taken from Celtic Daily Prayer. A good friend of ours sent this to Brooke this week. I found it very beneficial, particularly the idea and repetition of "circle me, Lord.")

*A caim or "encircling prayer" is for times when you do not know what to pray. It is suggested to draw a circle around yourself as you say the prayer; this symbolizes the encircling love of God.

The Overrated Faithfulness of God

Well, if you happen to have read Brooke’s recent blog entries (1 and 2), then you will know that my one year blogging anniversary isn’t so important after all (ok, so I realize you never thought it was important in the first place…).

In short, we lost another pregnancy this past Friday.

It was an early miscarriage but still very disappointing, very discouraging, and completely impossible to understand. Yet again, just when things were looking up, we were pushed back down. I think Brooke’s entry from earlier today sums this up quite perfectly. I don’t have better words for expressing what we are feeling right now (the excerpt she posted is long but worth reading if you want an idea of how we are doing right now - especially how Brooke is feeling right now).

Once again utilizing my standard coping mechanism, I read a book this weekend. It’s a book about suffering. I want to share a paragraph with you. It really expresses a lot of my thoughts from the past ten weeks and has seemed especially relevant to me these past few days.

“You may sit in the impractical walls of some stained-glass cathedral and hear a simplistic, sentimental, shallow sermon on the faithfulness of God and come away seeing him somewhat as a warm puppy who will never leave you or forsake you. But that is an imaginary god, erected on a very thin piece of ice. The faithfulness of God has been vastly overrated…”

So am I saying God is not faithful? No. In my head I still know that somehow he is faithful beyond my ability to understand and recognize. But at the same time I wholeheartedly agree that so many of us (including myself, it turns out) have erected false gods. Gods we believe will give us what we want and never let anything “too bad” happen to us. Gods who answer our prayers in ways that make sense. And gods who turn up whenever we need them, in ways we can clearly see. Indeed, “the faithfulness of God has been vastly overrated” (I think I have more to share about “the overrated faithfulness of God” but I don’t feel like working through it and putting it into words right now).

So where does this leave me? I don’t really know. I still look to Jesus and say “yes, I believe.” But I no longer believe in the “warm puppy.” He doesn’t exist. I’m telling you from experience. Please believe me.

But I guess these kind of things don’t really become clear except through real-life experience. That sucks. I don’t know if it’s worth it. It sure doesn’t seem like it right now.

I’m also not real sure what the advantage of “knowing Jesus” is right now. I don’t feel we are reaping much benefit. I guess that’s the way it works. Again, this sucks too.

I don’t get it.

I guess I’m not the first though (at least that’s what I hear).

Numbers Never Lie

3 different blogs
plus
1 inspired initial post
plus
87 total entries
plus
295 comments
plus
942 profile views
minus
1 missing math whiz extraordinaire
divided by
many hours on the computer
plus
much good reflection and discussion
equals
1 full year of blogging!

From "saving the world from all that is evil," to pondering the meaning of the universe, thank you for joining me these past 365 days of blogging!

The Message

I recently read a book by Brian McLaren entitled The Secret Message of Jesus. I was very glad to read the book because it caused me to think about Jesus and his message in some new and sometimes challenging ways. I am going to read the book again but this time with a friend of mine. I am looking forward to the resulting conversations. As I reread the book I hope to post some more of my thoughts on this subject. Until then, I have a couple questions for you.

First, the message of Jesus should be pretty important to us who call ourselves “Christians,” right? Ok, you don’t have to answer this one. I guess it’s rhetorical.

Second, and this one I hope you will answer, how would you briefly define the message of Jesus? I don’t have a “right” or “wrong” answer in mind. I am honestly just looking for some suggestions. Make sure to notice that I am not asking you about your definition of the gospel, Paul’s message, or any Christian doctrine. While all of these are certainly related, I am specifically wanting to focus in on the message of Jesus as expressed in the four gospels.

I am very interested in your responses – I hope you will contribute.

We need your help

Brooke and I want to go on vacation (in June or July). Where should we go? We need your help.

Option 1:

Fly to New York City. Spend a few days in New York City. Take train to Boston. Spend a few days in Boston. Fly back to Texas. Brooke has "always" wanted to go to NYC, this is basically a trip intended to fulfill that wish.

By the way, while in New York City we would be able to see one of our favorite bands at this really cool looking venue.

Option 2:

Fly to California and go to Yosemite National Park. This is more of my idea, well ok, it's actually all my idea and I don't know if Brooke would even like it at all...

Option 3:

Do you have any great ideas? The comments are turned on, this is your chance to shape our lives in a signicant way! If your idea is chosen, you will be invited to join us on the trip!*

So which is it, God's beautiful creation, lots of concrete buildings, or your own amazing idea? (ok, maybe this comment shows I'm a little biased...)

*To attend, the winner must pay all our trip expenses.

Watching Things Die

Brooke and I were talking about this the other day and I thought it might be worth a blog post. This will be a little lighter than lately but the title is "watching things die" so that still provides some sense of darkness and struggle, right?

Anyways, we have two plants in our house right now. We have had both of them for about eight weeks or so. We also have some flowers that Brooke received from someone last week. Of course, since the flowers are cut they will eventually die and we will have to throw them away. The plants, on the other hand, should continue to live indefinitely, right?

Your answer might change if I give you this little bit of information: we never water these plants. We mean to water them. We even talk about watering them. At dinner Brooke might say, "Adam, we really need to water that fern sitting two feet from us." And I usually respond, "Yeah, you're right. We need to do that." We then repeat this same conversation a couple days later.

The truth is that we have watered them each only once so far. As a result, they are not looking too good (the fern in particular - the ivy is actually doing ok, quite amazingly). In addition, the flowers Brooke received last week are long past their prime, yet they are still sitting in a vase on our dining room table.

What does all this mean? Are we merely irresponsible plant owners? Or is this all symbolic of something greater? Could this perhaps be a metaphor for our lives right now? Ok, it might be all of the above - we don't have a very good history of keeping plants alive...

Here are some visuals:

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On a different note, check out Brooke's latest blog entry and then go here and listen to the song that prompted her to quote that verse. It is one of my favorite songs right now. The song is by Lori Chaffer of Waterdeep. The video was put together right after Hurricane Katrina. The video is good but I primarily want you to listen to the song. It is the title song for this recently released cd.

Tired

I’m tired of bad days following bad days. I’m tired of bad weeks. Bad months. And bad years.

I’m tired of a god who talks a good story but doesn’t seem to follow through too well.

I’m tired of prayers that seem pointless.

I want some good days, good weeks, good months, and good years.

God, come near.

Anger: The Return / I Believe

So, I’ve wanted to post a new entry over the past week but my emotions/thoughts/experiences have been very conflicted. One day I want to write about how crappy life is (yesterday and today) but other days I want to write about how in the midst of all this I still do believe. As a sort of compromise I offer the following. It may actually be an accurate picture of where I am right now.

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I think my anger has returned (it never really left but “Anger: The Return” is a much more exciting title than “Anger Part II,” right?) and is now more clearly focused on God. I’m mad at God. There it is, I said it.

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I find myself thinking a lot about Jesus lately. As a part of this thinking I decided to read through the New Testament from start to finish (we’ll see how that goal goes…). At first I thought about reading a gospel and then going on to Acts, or reading a gospel, some non-gospel and then a gospel again. Ultimately I decided it might be helpful to read through all four gospels in a row. Maybe that will give me a good dose of Jesus.

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God is indeed the Master of the Universe, right? So doesn’t that mean he is ultimately responsible for everything that happens? Why would he allow this to happen? Why does he allow so much crap to happen? I think I understand and probably even agree with the whole “there is no love without the possibility of suffering” argument, but I still think it sucks. And it doesn’t make sense.

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I do think it all centers around Jesus. Everything can be completely lousy but I can’t get around this man, the accounts of his life, and the affect he has had on history. When I honestly look to him I almost can’t help but believe. There really is something about him that seems real, true, and important beyond anything else.

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Why would God allow some bad things to happen and not others? Clearly (if you want to believe in the accuracy of the New Testament) he can bring about miracles. Why sometimes and not others?

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I may not understand what “God” is doing but I can look to Jesus and believe that if indeed Jesus is the true reflection of God, then somehow I really do not need to worry. I can believe this really must be a God who cares even for the sparrows – and even for me.

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I just wish God had not allowed this to happen. Would it have been so difficult for him? Maybe it would have. Maybe he really couldn’t help it. I do find more comfort believing that at times. Going the other direction causes me to question his goodness. I can’t do that right now and stay sane. I really do want to believe God is Love. However, it would be nice to believe it based on some real life experience.

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So, no matter how much this all hurts, no matter how much I feel like my faith has been challenged, and no matter how much I feel like I can’t believe, I still believe.

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Ok, so maybe that’s not completely fair. Let me reword it. I want it to be based on some recent life experience. Is that so bad? Because right now everything just seems crappy and I really want it to be better.

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I believe in the midst of unbelief, in the midst of confusion, and in the midst of anger with God.

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If this post didn’t thoroughly confuse you, or even if it did, I suggest you go and read Brooke’s first blog post ever. As you will notice, Brooke is now officially a one year blogger. Check out her post – I think the lyrics of the song she posted are quite relevant to our current life situation.

A Much Larger Suffering

I always knew suffering existed. I was not suddenly surprised to find out that bad things happen in this world. I’ve even seen significant pain in people fairly close to me. Yet, losing our baby made this all very real in a way I had never experienced before. I thought I knew that we lived in a screwed up world. I thought I accounted for that in my faith. I believed, knowing that intense suffering would also eventually touch me and those I love. But somehow I never really knew – it was only theory.

In a book I read recently, C.S. Lewis writes, “If I had really cared, as I thought I did, about the sorrows of the world, I should not have been so overwhelmed when my own sorrow came.”

I think this is true for me, and probably for many of us. I don’t think I ever really cared. Or even believed that suffering was real. Suffering was only something that happened to other people. Sure, my life was never perfect, some of it had even been pretty difficult at times, but the real bad stuff only happened to other people. At the most it may have happened to me in my imagination - but not in real life.

Henri Nouwen writes about coming to a realization that he was part of “a much larger suffering.” I think I am coming to this realization as well. Somehow the experiences of the past weeks have made it more clear than ever that we live in a messed up world. Suffering doesn’t just happen to people on T.V. Suffering also is not limited to my recent experiences. This is all part of “a much larger suffering.”

I think we all need to reflect on this. Perhaps we can’t really begin to understand it until we are touched in a very personal way, but I think the reflection is important nonetheless.

As one who is currently in the midst of some intense suffering, I call out to those of you in the ordinary world and say, “Suffering is real. This world really is screwed up. Something is wrong. Believe the stories. Believe the news. Something is very wrong with this world!”

Anger

I’m not very used to the feeling of anger. It’s not really my personality to get angry. I’m pretty calm, usually fairly patient, and definitely easy-going. As a result, I don’t usually consider anger much a part of my normal range of emotions.

Lately this has changed somewhat.

It’s an odd feeling to be angry. I don’t really feel angry at any “thing” or “person” in particular – it’s more of a general anger at life. I guess ultimately this kind of anger is with God but that’s not something I have been specifically thinking about.

Intellectually I understand that I shouldn’t be angry. I understand that this isn’t anyone’s fault. I even seem to believe at times that it’s not really God’s fault (even though I don’t exactly understand that). But yet I’m still angry. It’s an emotional anger. An anger that just rises from time to time when things aren’t going very well. An anger in my mind that just yells out, “why us?!”, “I don’t understand!”, “why did this have to happen?!”, “damn it, damn it, damn it!” Or something like that…

I don’t really like it, but I guess that’s where I am right now. It doesn’t seem like anything I can just put a stop to. Rather, I think it just needs to work itself out of me. There seems to be a time element involved. This is just part of the process I guess.

I still just want to go back to the way things were. I’m angry that it’s not going to happen that way. Why did this have to happen?! I don’t understand.

Mowing the Lawn

Well, I've been doing better since my last post. I worked in the yard today. It felt good. It even kind of feels good to have sore muscles. Makes me feel like I have done something productive.

Anyway, the point of this post was not really to let you all know that I worked in the yard today (even though I know you are very happy to know that); rather, I want to make sure everyone has read Brooke's blog entry from Thursday night. Don't worry, it is much better than my semi-ridiculous post from that same day. I don't know why you would be checking my blog and not her's, but I thought I would point it out just in case.

Have a good weekend. Continue to pray for us as it comes to your mind.

P.S. - Has anyone else noticed that the spell-checker for blogger does not have the word "blog" in it's dictionary? How many times do I need to tell it that I am not trying to say "bloc?" Very strange.

Flowers, rainbows, and everything that is beautiful

So, today has just been a lousy day (un mal Dia). I think it’s the worst I have felt so far. I’m real discouraged and down. This evening I even decided I would miss work tomorrow and take a personal day. Unfortunately, I quickly remembered I have 26 important meetings to attend tomorrow (at least one of which I can not/should not get out of). That’s disappointing. Needless to say, I’ll be going to work tomorrow (Hi, Elizabeth - I’ll see you in the morning!).

On a somewhat related note (at least in my mind), have you read Mary’s most recent blog entry? I guess you can’t really answer me – you know, with this being a blog and all, and with me not having the comments turned on. Oh well. Consider it a rhetorical question then.

Anyways, I think her blog entry is worth reading. It doesn’t offend me and I don’t think it offends God. I think it’s just honest questioning and seeking to understand – I can think of many worse things. You may not agree with me, but again, there’s not much you can do about it – since I have the comments turned off :)

Well, I can’t think of much else to say. I need to take the garbage out. That should be fun. I hope you read Mary’s blog and think about it with openness – not to be convinced necessarily, but to see the honest thoughts of a fellow wayfarer. Things are not very simple and simple answers don’t always work very well. Maybe we can’t really understand God much but I don’t think he’s bothered by us wanting to be in on what he’s doing and why. Honesty and authenticity are good. At least that’s my opinion. Thanks for sharing your thoughts Mary.

Well, I’ll see you all at work tomorrow! …unless of course you don’t work in my office.

Wasn’t this an excellent follow up to my previous post? I thought the title flowed well too.

Oh yeah, I forgot, you can't answer...

My Beloved

How do I express the love I have felt for Brooke these past few weeks?

I have been sitting here for twenty minutes fumbling with various sentences. The words are just so lacking - the depth of feeling is too hard to convey.

I can only begin by saying that I love Brooke deeply. This love has never been as apparent as during the past few weeks. It’s almost as though the previous years were only a foretaste of love – only a preview of the real thing. Had I ever really noticed how beautiful she is? How precious? How valuable? I simply cannot imagine life without her. Perhaps this is what is meant by the two becoming one? She is clearly part of me. I understand in a whole new way that what God makes one cannot be separated. She is mine and I am hers.

I feel I have been given a glimpse into the depths of Brooke. As though I have been allowed to see a faint image of how God sees her. What I see is beautiful. I see real treasure, real value. This woman is beyond worth. In the midst of our struggles I have seen this value even more than in times of rejoicing.

I want to give my life for Brooke. She is worth it. I want to love her but I am so weak. Lord, help me to love Brooke in the midst of our sorrow.

Is there anything like this pain of knowing my beloved is hurting so deeply? I looked into her eyes as she gave birth to our baby. How can I ever be the same?

Brooke, I love you. I am proud of you. You have been courageous beyond compare. Thank you for loving me in return and for giving your life to me. I gladly desire to give mine in return. Forgive my failing words. You are so beautiful to me.

Three Weeks

How am I feeling right now?

I’m not exactly sure, to be honest.

I still think a lot about what happened. I think about how things were before we lost our baby – back when Brooke was pregnant and things seemed to be going pretty well. I remember the Thursday when things started to go wrong. I went to lunch with Brooke that day and afterwards she told me for the first time that something didn’t seem right. I walked back to my office, fighting off anxious thoughts by telling myself that everything was probably fine – there was no reason to worry. That is what I told myself.

I guess in some ways I’m still telling myself the same thing. “Don’t worry Adam. All will be well.”

I was wrong before. Why should I believe it’s true now?

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While I still think about things a lot, I am also finding it a little more difficult to work through everything. The everyday worries of normal life have returned. There is work to be done, dinner to be cooked, dishes to be washed. It’s hard not to kind of slip back into the everyday routine and monotony of life. It takes effort to set aside the necessary time with Brooke to talk through how things are really going. The strength is sometimes hard to muster.

Part of me just wants to leave it all behind. The other part of me realizes that I (we) must really go through this – not around it. We have to deal with it and be changed by it. This is hard work. I’m tired.

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I’ve been reading a lot of books. One of them says this:

“Many of us are tempted to think that if we suffer, the only important thing is to be relieved of our pain. We want to flee it at all costs. But when we learn to move through suffering, rather than avoid it, then we greet it differently. We become willing to let it teach us. We even begin to see how God can use it for some larger end. Suffering becomes something other than a nuisance or curse to be evaded at all costs, but a way into deeper fulfillment. Ultimately mourning means facing what wounds us in the presence of One who can heal.”

Later he (Henri Nouwen) also writes:

“How do we make this shift from evading our pain to asking God to redeem and make good use of it?”

This is indeed the important question. And I guess this is kind of what I am being confronted with right now. Will I try to avoid the suffering (by pretending it didn’t happen, by banishing it from my thoughts, or perhaps even by continuing to just tell myself “all will be well.”), or will I (we) move through it desiring to be changed?

Of course, this all sounds great "on paper." Working it out in real life is proving to be more difficult.

Faces

I was greatly affected by the faces of the people I encountered on March 9 and 10. I remember them clearly.

The first face I remember is Brooke. Sitting on our couch and looking into her eyes, I could tell she was worried. She told me something had changed – “could this be a problem?” I remember Amy’s worried face as she and Aaron were right beside us.

Later, I spoke with Amanda on the phone. I couldn’t see her face but her words pierced me. I can still hear her saying, “oh, Adam,” after I told her our concerns. Her emotion revealed to me her unspoken reaction, “this can’t be true.”

We went to the hospital and our fears were soon confirmed. We were losing our baby. It was only a matter of time. When Dr. Becker arrived at the hospital I could see his face change as he realized who we were and immediately remembered our story. I had spoken with him on the phone earlier but I don’t think he had connected our names with our faces. It didn’t take him long when he walked into our room. By his facial expression I could tell he recalled our situation and remembered this was a much longed for baby. Our doctor was hurting for us – his face gave it away.

Soon after, Brooke’s parents arrived at the hospital. I can still see Jan running to her precious daughter’s side. There were tears and I knew both Jan and Richard were aching for this loss. Their faces were full of tears and heartbreak. They were hurting for the loss of their first grandchild and for the pain they knew their own first-born child was going through.

After an initial sonogram we learned it would likely be a long day. I decided to go and see our friends who had come to the hospital and were in the waiting room supporting us. I was having a hard time holding myself together. I needed to let them know what was going on and that they should probably leave until more happened. I remember seeing another group in the waiting room – presumably there to rejoice over the birth of a new grandchild, niece, cousin, etc. Their faces were excited. I almost lost it when I looked over and saw Amy, Amanda, Jeff, and Nan. Amy’s face was red and full of tears. So was Amanda’s. Jeff and Nan’s faces revealed hurt as well - but also a look of experience. They had been here before in their own lives, not this particular experience, but others like it. Their faces showed it – in some small way, they understood the pain. The faces of these four probably affected me more than any other (besides Brooke). I knew they were hurting for us and with us. Suddenly and somewhat unexpectedly I knew we were not alone.

Our expectation of a long day of labor quickly proved incorrect. Soon after a second sonogram, Brooke unpredictably began to experience some intense labor pains. At the time neither of us really knew what was going on – even the nurse and our doctor were quite surprised that this was it – the baby was coming, now. Closing my eyes right now, I can see Brooke in more pain than she had ever experienced before. Her face revealed physical pain, emotional shock, and much fear of what was happening. My beloved was going through something terrible and there was little I could do. While looking into her face and trying to be present for her, I was hurting for my beautiful wife. Our baby was about to be born without any life in him.

Later, after the birth, and after Brooke was doing much better physically, I walked outside our room and saw Kim. She gave me a much-needed hug as she spoke words of disbelief through her own tears. This dear friend’s face revealed the same confusion and shock I was experiencing. I remember going back into our room and feeling somewhat overwhelmed by the love and care I had seen in her face and felt in her arms. Again, I knew we were not alone. Even in the midst of my own complete shock, searing pain, and overwhelming fear, in that brief moment, as in the other similar moments of this terrible day, I was strengthened in a way I desperately needed.

There were many other encounters with loved-ones during the rest of that day, and in the following days and weeks, but the other one that significantly impacted me that particular morning was seeing my dearest friend, Rishi. Rishi is an emotional person. I am typically not. When I saw Rishi I could tell he was trying not too look into my face. I knew if he did, he would completely lose it. His face showed that he was trying his very best to hold back the tears that were wanting to come. It didn’t take long before we were both crying. This brother was not just hurting for me. He did not just feel bad about this situation. He was truly hurting with me in a way I will never forget.

In each of the situations I have described, the faces of these individuals communicated to me A Great Love that somehow sustained me during this torturous day. I do not know how I (we) made it through that day or the weeks that have followed (and I'm not real sure how we are going to continue to make it), but I do know that looking into those precious faces is something I hope to never forget.

I (we) still need these faces. We have a long way to go. I am still hurting. I am still afraid. I need to see faces that remind me I am not alone. Faces that remind me I am loved.

Beginning Again

Well, I guess it’s time to start writing again. I’ve actually been thinking about writing and wanting to write since the day after it happened. I have felt a real need to write out some of the thoughts I have been dealing with in my head but I just haven’t felt up to it – writing takes too much energy and I haven’t had much energy the past couple weeks.

In case you don’t know, “it” is the loss of our baby. My beautiful wife Brooke gave birth to a still born baby boy on Friday morning, March 10. I still have trouble actually getting these words out of my mouth. It doesn’t seem real. Five months of pregnancy and excitement couldn’t have really ended this way, right? I mean, we wanted this baby so badly. We were really looking forward to his birth and getting to know him. Surely that isn’t lost – is it? It is very hard to believe. Eighteen months of wanting to get pregnant, 20 weeks of being pregnant, and it all ended within about 12 hours. How can this be? I want to go back to the way things were.

We are now about two and a half weeks removed from this tragedy but it still seems like it happened just yesterday. At the same time though, I feel like months have gone by. Strange. Our lives have certainly changed in this time. I think my mind has been going a hundred miles an hour for the past couple weeks, while also not really working at all. So many thoughts and so many questions.

In case you haven’t noticed, I deal with things in my head. This has its advantages and disadvantages I think - but I don’t really seem to have a choice in the matter. I think this is just the way I was made. Brooke of course deals with this all much differently. She is a thinker like me but she is also very emotional – no one has ever accused me of being overly emotional. But I guess we need our differences in this – we can help each other this way, I hope.

So, what exactly am I writing about right now? I guess I’m not really writing about anything in particular. I’ve been thinking about a lot though. Thinking about our child who is gone before he ever really came to be. Thinking about my wife. Thinking about where we go from here – wanting to have children in our future. Thinking about life. Thinking about God. Is he real? How does he relate to all of this? How does this change my view of him? Why would he let this happen? Why us? I guess my thoughts contain a lot of questions really (by now I figure you are agreeing with me that I deal with things in my head). But most of all I’m just thinking about how I wish this hadn’t happened. I’m thinking about how I really wish we could go back in time and be happy again. Happy again? “Happy” seems a long way off – both behind and in front of us.

Well, these are just some thoughts. Take them for what they’re worth. I think I might make this a regular thing for awhile. I don’t know – we’ll see. Feel free to drop by and read my musings. Beware though, my thoughts may contradict themselves from day to day and may cover quite a lot of ground. These thoughts are primarily for me. Writing is therapeutic for me, I guess. However, I think these thoughts are also for you. I believe it’s important to acknowledge pain and suffering and to call it for what it is. We must deal with it, not just me and Brooke.

A note - I think I am going to turn the comments off for awhile. I hope you keep reading, but ultimately, as I already said, these thoughts are mainly for me. I don’t think I’m open to many comments right now (in this setting). However, as the days go by, I hope we can talk in person about some of these things – I am very open to that and actually desire it greatly. Hopefully, me writing, and you reading these thoughts here will just help us to talk all the more effectively and openly in person.

Finally, thank you for your kindness – so many of you have loved us in so many ways these past couple of weeks. I am very grateful and will be forever. I love each of you.

I'll be gone for awhile

Paradigm Shifts 3 (moving beyond Oprah)

So, hi there. It’s been a little while since I last wrote about something more substantive than babies or Oprah (not that Oprah is not important. I wouldn’t want to make Oprah angry…). Today sounds like a good day to continue the internationally renowned Paradigm Shifts series. Actually, I do get a lot of strangers to my site who search Google for “13 paradigm shifts” or some variation of that.

Anyways, that’s enough small-talk.

Paradigm Shift #3 – Nobody will listen to God unless they know God loves them

So I guess this is the logical next step from paradigm shift #2 (nobody will listen to you unless they know you like them). In fact, I think this pretty much sums up the primary force of the message we are called to share with and represent for others. Forgiveness of sins, new life, God incarnate, Jesus dying on the cross, etc, etc, are all important and significant, but these concepts/events all find their origin in God’s love. This is the key. Now don’t worry, I realize I’ve been here before – you’ve heard me talk about God’s love, so I don’t plan on attempting to wax eloquence on this particular topic again. What I do want to discuss is the how of this paradigm shift (I don’t think I’ve ever used the phrase “wax eloquence.” Did I use it correctly? I don’t know why it came to mind – strange…).

Don Miller mentions this paradigm shift in relation to people who have been hurt in some way by the church, or people, or perspectives they thought represented the church. In response Don says an apology and kindness went a long way in helping people understand God is loving. I think this is a good starting point. For people to understand God’s love for them, they have to see it in us. Unfortunately, this is not always the case – too often people are exposed to churches, people, or perspectives that do not accurately portray the love of God. I don’t want to focus on the negative but rather encourage us to represent/express/reveal God’s love to those around us.

Ok, so showing other people God’s love is pretty straight-forward (even though challenging). I do have one more thought about how to help people see God’s love. I think God’s love is best expressed in Jesus Christ. This is how we see/understand what God is like. Therefore, pointing others to the person of Jesus is helping them to see God’s love. This also helps to correct any false impressions they may have received from various sources. We don’t need to “sugar coat” him or censor him. Simply, putting him out in the open is a great start. This may happen by encouraging someone to read one of the gospels or it may happen by sharing certain parts of Jesus’ story. However it occurs, presenting the person of Jesus is essential in helping others to see God’s love.

To love others and to point others to God’s love in Jesus – this our privilege and the world’s great need.

How else can we help others to understand God’s love? Any ideas or related thoughts? I have really just pointed out a few initial thoughts – I look forward to hearing how this may have spurred your own thoughts.


Previous entries in this series:
Intro
Paradigm Shifts #1
Paradigm Shifts #2
Paradigm Shifts #2.5

I'm gonna have a son!

We are having a boy! I am absolutely thrilled! Of course I would have been pretty excited with a girl too :)

The sonogram was so much fun. Things are starting to feel a little more real now. I guess this whole "having a baby" thing is really happening! I am also more excited than ever and looking forward to the amazing event!

Check out Brooke's blog for a nice picture from the sonogram. Be sure to go over there and wish her a hearty congrats as well! Also, give her some advice on having a boy - I think she might be a bit intimidated/scared of boys - don't tell her I said that. :)

So exciting!

A short quiz in honor of the news:

1. Will our son have red hair? (I was born with very red hair. Neither of my parents have red hair but both of my grandfathers did).

2. What will the name be? We don't know yet, so go ahead and give us your brilliant idea!

3. On what day will he arrive? The due date is July 25.

4. How much will he weigh? (I weighed over 8 pounds and was three weeks early. Brooke weighed a little under eight pounds and was two weeks late.)

5. At what age will he win the Nobel Prize? And which category will it be for?

Correct answers to two or more of the five questions will earn you eternal fame and glory.

And that, my friend, makes Oprah angry

Some random tid-bits for your reading pleasure.

1. Don Miller has a semi-blog going on. You might want to check it out. You might not.

2. A Don Miller fan site has also begun. This is great stuff. Don will answer your questions – free of charge. I highly recommend taking a look-see.

3. Staying on that subject, this entry on the Don Miller fan site is particularly interesting (I love the title of the entry!). If you’ve read Blue Like Jazz and you have been paying attention to the Oprah/James Frey/A Million Little Pieces saga, then you will definitely want to check it out.

4. I don’t worship Don Miller. Really. I just like him a lot. We’re not going out or anything.

5. I can’t stop listening to Fernando Ortega. I don’t exactly know why. It really isn’t my “type” of music but that doesn’t seem to matter. I just can’t stop. No matter how hard I try. And believe me, I’ve been trying hard.

6. I also can’t stop listening to Over the Rhine. However, this is my type of music. There would be no reason to stop. But then I guess there really isn’t a reason for me to stop listening to Fernando Ortega either. Oh well.

7. Brooke and I saw the movie Pride and Prejudice last weekend. It’s a chick flick but it was good. I recommend it.

8. Brooke is my wife. She is going to have my baby. I am very excited because in less than one week we will find out if we are having a boy or a girl! Er...I mean it will be confirmed that we are having a boy!

9. I dare you to keep reading. And believe me, I'm not joking.

10. In case you didn’t read (or aren’t planning on reading) the Don Miller fan site entry about the Oprah/James Frey/A Million Little Pieces saga, I want to give you one quote that may just entice you. “And that, my friend, makes Oprah angry.” The whole article is worth reading just for that quote. I want to start utilizing this in my everyday life. If Brooke makes a mistake or something I might just say, “And that, my wife, makes Oprah angry.” I realize this probably makes no sense. Sorry.

11. Speaking of Oprah, I’m back on The Adam Moore Diet. I have been for about six weeks. I haven’t really told anyone because it’s just kind of weird. I might start telling people some time soon though. Guess how much weight I’ve lost? I’ll give you one clue - the answer is not 34 pounds.

12. Oh yeah, one more thing, you know that 13 Paradigm Shifts series I’ve been doing? Well, it may take me the rest of my life to complete. I just thought I’d warn you. I’m going to keep working on it though.

13. Thank you for reading my blog. It means a lot to me.

14. Do you like the picture I put on the blog of me and my honey? If so, we get all the credit. If not, it’s because Rishi Sriram took the photo. Personally, I think it’s fantastic!

15. If you ever have a whole week free and you want to read six million blogs, go here.

16. I wonder what ever happened to addemup? I guess we'll never know...



17. In this picture I am wearing a Kustombilt Cabinets hat. Thanks for the hat Aaron. I like it. Be sure to go to Kustombilt Cabinets for all your cabinetry needs.



Ok, many thanks to both of you who are still reading this. I’m done now.

So, what do you think?

[02/13 - If you haven't already, check out the good conversation going on in the comments section of this post. Any other thoughts?]

I saw this graph on this blog and it's also being discussed here (it comes from a forthcoming book entitled, They Like Jesus but not the Church). Basically the graph is saying that the number of non-Christians we hang out with decreases the longer we are Christians.